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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24862510">as you came in i watch my future rewrite</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollutedrain/pseuds/pollutedrain'>pollutedrain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i look at you now and i want this forever [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Coffee Shops, Fluff and Smut, Jaehyun is awkward, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Some angst, it all works out in the end, johnjae are both idiots, johnny is in love from the first second, very cliche</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:40:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24862510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollutedrain/pseuds/pollutedrain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny first hears about soulmates when he's five years old.</p><p>Years on, on the other side of the world, he meets Jaehyun.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i look at you now and i want this forever [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>667</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>as you came in i watch my future rewrite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was......... meant to be 10k at the most just so i could scratch the itch i had over wanting a johnjae soulmate au but then my too much gene took over and here we are. i absolutely loved writing it though, so i hope others enjoy reading it just as much! </p><p>title taken from  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB4Jra4zR80">honne &amp; tom misch's me &amp; you ◑</a></p><p>(ps: happy birthday bia, thank you for cheering me on through the 10k of this you knew about, i hope you enjoy it ❤)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Johnny first hears of the concept of soulmates when he’s barely five years old.</p><p>It’s a sticky hot kind of summer’s day at his babysitter’s house where he’s kicking a soccer ball around with her brother. His babysitter vaguely watches them as she giggles away with her friend.</p><p>“I can’t believe it,” She says around a pop of bubblegum. “Imagine finding your soulmate the second you turn eighteen, it’s not fair.”</p><p>“I know,” Her friend rolls her eyes. “Some people have all the luck, sucks to be us.”</p><p>“What’s a soulmate?” Johnny asks her brother quietly. The word is foreign to his mouth - he stumbles over it a little as he tries to get the syllables out. His friend scoffs in the way that little brothers talking about their sisters only can.</p><p>“Something dumb and girly.” He answers, kicking the ball so hard it bounces off of the fence. </p><p>Johnny frowns - dumb and girly doesn’t sound good to him, but it also doesn’t answer his question. He means to ask about it more, maybe quiz his actual babysitter on it since she seems to know what’s up, but he’s quickly distracted by snacks and more games. He forgets about it until a few days later when he hears the word on some soap opera his mom is watching. He tugs at her skirt, asking her what it means.</p><p>“A soulmate,” His mom explains, tenderly brushing the hair off of his forehead as he clambers onto her lap, limbs already a bit too long for his age. “Is someone who’s picked out just for you, so you can be together forever.” </p><p>Johnny considers this, mouth twisted into a thoughtful frown.</p><p>“Like a friend only I can play with?” </p><p>“Pretty much.” His mom smiles in reply. “A friend that’s destined to find you.”</p><p>Johnny learns as he gets older that it’s a little more complicated than that. </p><p>He’s thirteen when he realises that the matching circles on his parents wrists are actually their soulmate marks - which, of course his parents are soulmates, there’s no way they could be anything but. <i>Gross</i>. His mom smiles when he asks her about it.</p><p>“We met in our first year at college. Your father was so handsome, I could hardly believe it when he sat next to me in a class one day. No-one was surprised to find out we were soulmates, it was probably that obvious from the beginning.” She pauses, running her fingers over the mark on the inside of her wrist. </p><p>“He’d always wanted to stay in Korea with your grandparents, but he happily followed me out to Chicago when I got the chance to work here, said he’d follow me to the end of the world if he had to. And then we had you, our precious son.” She leans across to ruffle his hair affectionately, drawing out an embarrassed groan from him. </p><p>As he gets older, thinking about Korea would cause something lying deep in his chest to stir, as if it were some ancient creature waking up for the first time in centuries. He finds himself almost longing for something - he doesn’t know exactly what it is, but it’s there and refuses to be ignored. His mom laughs when he relays this to her after weeks of her gently prodding at him, worried about how lost in his own thoughts he seems to be. </p><p>“You’ve never even been to Korea, Youngho, how could you be missing something there?” She smiles at him lovingly, ruffling his hair in the way she always does. “Maybe we could take a trip sometime in the summer, if you’re that eager.” </p><p>Johnny frowns. He thinks it’s not actually Korea itself that he’s drawn to but perhaps something <i>there</i>. What that something is though he has no clue, has no way to even begin to figure out what it could be. </p><p>Ultimately they do end up visiting Korea next summer, staying with family and doing all the fun touristy things his mom signs them up to do. He comes back from the two week stay a couple pounds heavier from all the good food they ate, and with what feels like a constant itch under his skin that he can’t quite scratch no matter what he does. </p><p>Life after that trip feels like it passes by in a blur - he barely even remembers graduating from middle school when suddenly it feels like he blinks and he’s a high school senior. </p><p>He dates a girl from his math class for way too long for someone who’s approximately 85% sure he’s gay. His suspicions are confirmed one night when he’s at her house, watching reruns of Seinfeld on a sofa that’s too expensive to be comfortable. Her older brother emerges from the shower halfway through their fourth episode, wrapped in just a towel as water droplets slowly cascade down his stomach. Johnny feels his mouth dry as he forces himself to look away, desperately reaching to drain the rest of his soda in one go. He excuses himself the second he can, driving home with his head feeling like it’s about to explode. His girlfriend doesn’t look that surprised when he breaks up with her a week later, looks even less surprised when, at the next party everyone’s invited to, she sees him with his hand down the pants of a guy from their geography class.</p><p>His school and parents are both delighted when he’s offered a full-ride sports scholarship to study business at some distant college he’d hastily written to when application season was in full swing. His volleyball coach claps him on the back when he brings the letter in to show his friends, paper crumpled from the way he clutches in his hands. Tells him that making him team captain was the best idea he’s ever had, he’s gonna go far because of it. Fervent talk of things like <i>professional sports</i> and <i>smart career moves</i> and the like surrounds him, feeling more like a pillow being pressed over his face than something to be excited about. He spends endless nights lying awake, staring at his bedroom ceiling as if it’ll reveal all the answers to his problems. </p><p>He should feel guilty when he writes back to the college thanking them for their offer but ultimately rejecting it, but somehow he can’t bring himself to. There’s a fleeting worry that his parents will be disappointed in him, and he can see something akin to it in his mom’s eyes and the frown that lines his dad’s forehead when he shares the news. A few nights of quiet family dinners follow, Johnny excusing himself and escaping to his room the second his plate is empty, but after what seems like a short lifetime his parents sit him down and tell him that as long as he’s happy, he’ll have their support. His parents’ support does not magically map out the rest of Johnny’s life for him, though. He stutters whenever anyone asks him what he plans to do after graduation, and spends way too many of his lunch breaks locked inside the guidance counselor’s office. </p><p>It’s suddenly spring. It’s late at night as usual, the house quiet around him. 

Johnny’s clicking around one of his favourite photography forums trying to find the best lens for his new fujifilm when he sees it - an ad for a film, photography and media degree in Seoul. He can hardly believe it, holds his breath as he clicks on it and scrolls through page after page of Korean. It’s perfect. Almost too perfect, leaving him anxious that if he doesn’t act immediately he’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be gone, all a fever dream. Before he knows it he’s translated his standard college application into Korean, thrown together a portfolio of the shots he’s taken as part of the photography club and sent the entire thing off. He sheepishly tells his parents this the next morning - he’s scolded a little for being so impulsive but it’s soon forgotten. He doesn’t really expect he’ll get in, anyway.</p><p>The entire time he waits for any kind of reply, his classes turn into a frenzy of gossip as people reach eighteen and develop their soulmate marks. The girl he sits next to in geography class proudly shows him the small lotus flower that appeared on her wrist that morning; a week later one of the guys on the volleyball reserve team whose name he could never quite recall flaunts the new hexagon on his ankle. Johnny eagerly awaits his eighteenth birthday, tries to play it cool but he’s so worked up the night before he can hardly sleep. </p><p>His birthday morning sees him waking up dazed and groggy enough that it takes a few seconds for him to remember why it feels like his veins are singing. He springs out of bed, knees banging painfully against the floor as his legs tangled in his sheets and drag him down. Untangling himself, he rushes to the mirror to inspect his body. It takes him a moment to find it, twisting and turning to try and check everywhere on his arms and back when he sees something peeking out of where his sweatpants rest on his hip. </p><p>He holds his breath as he rolls the waistband down another inch. He frowns. On his hip is some kind of constellation, a mass of delicate lines and stars and circles. He knows nothing about astronomy, has zero clue how this relates to him at all. A fervent scroll through google tells him it’s the constellation for aquarius which, to be fair, is Johnny’s sign.</p><p>His frown deepens, nose scrunching up. He’d anticipated something a bit, you know, <i>cooler</i> - has a feeling this is going to get him teased in the locker room. He’s right, his friends do tease him later over pizza and in between discussions of Iron Man 3. Even his mom giggles when he tells her what it is, trying to pacify him with a <i>but it’s so you, Youngho!</i> when he huffs at her. He lies in bed that night, tracing a finger over the lines until the skin is warm to his touch. </p><p>“It might not be what I expected,” He says to himself in the quiet of his room. “But I guess it’s mine.” He quickly grows fond of it.</p><p>No-one is more surprised than Johnny when an official looking letter arrives covered in Korean postmarks, telling him that his application has been successful and he’s expected in Korea at the start of the new school year. His mom calls around the entire family - <i>Youngho’s moving to Korea!</i> feeling like it’s the only thing he hears for weeks. The team and his friends all roll their eyes because <i>of course</i> Johnny’s moving to Korea, it’s all he’s gone on about for the years they’ve all known him. They win the volleyball tournament, destroying the other team in the final with a brutal defeat that’s not been seen for years. He gets top grades in all his classes: his mom makes everyone read his final report card at his farewell dinner.</p><p>She cries as his parents say goodbye to him at the airport, his suitcases packed with as much of his life as he could fit in. Even his dad is misty-eyed as he pulls him close in a brief hug, squeezing his shoulder in a way that says more than words ever could. He promises to call often, swears he’ll try and come back for Chuseok if he can. Chicago looks tiny as his plane takes off a few hours later, the bright lights of the city blurred against the backdrop of the night sky. He takes a picture on his cellphone as a way to remember this moment, his heart at peace for the first time in what feels like forever. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div><p>Him settling into life in Korea goes a lot smoother than he’d ever actually anticipated.</p><p>His first year roommate is Ten, a dance student from Thailand who declares almost from the second that they meet that they’re destined to be friends forever. Johnny isn’t sure if there’s some sort of placebo effect at work here, or if Ten maybe has magic powers, but his roommate is right. Their friendship leaves them instantly inseparable to the point that he can barely remember a time in his life that Ten wasn’t there, finds himself referencing things from Chicago that he swears Ten was there to experience with him. They do everything together: Ten follows him to the coffee shop he managed to snag a part time job at, Johnny waits for Ten outside of his classes if he finishes early, they go to the movies every Tuesday night because that’s student night and the tickets are cheaper than the metro fare to class. </p><p>The other friends they collect along the way - Taeyong from a random art class Ten picks up, Doyoung from Johnny’s mandatory economics module, all the others they meet - tease them relentlessly for it, insist they must be each other’s soulmates. They’re not, they’d checked months ago when Ten had finished his sentence for what felt like the billionth time. Ten’s geometric star was definitely nothing like Johnny’s beloved constellation - he’d been bitterly disappointed at first at how easy this could have all been, but had accepted that fate must have someone even better suited to him out there. Besides, it’s not like he still doesn’t get to enjoy having Ten in his life.</p><p>At some point Ten meets and introduces him to Kun, a Chinese classmate of his from one of his ethics classes. At first Johnny is worried that this spells the end of his and Ten’s close friendship, the end of late nights bonding over cup ramen and whatever ridiculous kdrama Ten manages to drag out of the depths of the internet for them to watch. However Kun fits flawlessly into their dynamic, quickly becoming the mature and grounded presence necessary for their group to flourish. He and Johnny bond during their shared shifts at the coffee shop that it turns out Kun also works at, Ten joining them whenever he can. </p><p>As such, Johnny gets a front-row ticket to the absolute mess that is Ten realising he has a - in his words - huge, colossal, world-ending crush on their friend. Ten acts like he’s <i>dying</i>, like liking Kun is the end of everything for him. Kun is confused by the way that Ten suddenly runs full speed in the opposite direction whenever he sees him. Johnny - Johnny is just left tired by the whole ordeal, tired of having to act as a go-between for the pair of them because Ten won’t grow the fuck up and just <i>confess</i>. He almost cries in relief when Kun joins him at the gym one day, the oversized cut out of his sleeves allowing Johnny to see the geometric star on his ribs. </p><p>(Ten does cry when he finds out. Johnny spends a lot of time sleeping on the floor of Yuta’s dorm room to get away from whatever’s going on in his. He just prays they stay off of his bed.)</p><p>Even after it's realised that his best friends are soulmates, made for each other, destined to be together, all those other cliches, their little unit remains steady as always.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Ten had reassured him, squeezing himself into Johnny’s bed to curl into his side like he loves to do. “You’re still my platonic soulmate, no amount of hot Chinese boys can replace that.”</p><p>After first year the three of them move into a cozy two bed apartment that’s perfectly in between campus and work - Johnny isn’t sure how Kun found it, but he’s glad he did. They squeeze in movie nights and family dinners (Ten insists on calling them that) between Johnny’s photo exhibitions and Ten’s dance recitals and Kun’s presentations. His parents call him at least once a week, his mom fussing over both him and his friends, sends him care packages with enough stuff in them for the three of them. </p><p>Everything seems to have slotted into place quite nicely, but it still feels like he’s missing something that would make his entire life complete. Johnny knows deep down that this something is what first had him leave Chicago for Korea, wishes that he could figure out exactly what it was so he could just get on with it already and find it. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div><p>Ten, though his bestest friend in the entire world, universe and whatever was beyond that, is also perhaps the most irritating person he’s ever met. </p><p>“I’m just saying,” his friend begins, stopping momentarily to coo over the apartment’s new kitten, Louis, where he’s dozing in the space between Johnny’s legs. “You might be the biggest hopeless romantic I’ve ever met, emphasis on the big, but you’re also the laziest.”</p><p>Johnny snorts from his position on the sofa, copy of <i>The Princess Bride</i> held open in front of him by a nearly empty coffee cup. </p><p>“Waiting for fate to strike isn’t lazy, it’s the definition of romantic.” He retorts. </p><p>Ten’s eyes narrow from behind a pair of lensless glasses Johnny was sure were actually the old prescription pair he’d misplaced last year. Johnny is strangely reminded of his great-aunt who insists on interrogating him on whether he’s settled down with a lovely girl yet every time he’s forced to speak with her. </p><p>“What happened with that guy you were seeing - Hansol was it? You guys got on amazingly from what I saw.”</p><p>Johnny sighs. “We did, but he couldn’t settle. Something about it not feeling right because we weren’t soulmates, didn’t want to waste anymore time.”</p><p>“Ew, boring.” </p><p>“I know right,” Johnny lets out a theatrical sigh, hoping that it’ll cover the way it still stings him to think about Hansol, how heartbroken he’d been when the other boy had called it off. It’s been over a year now but he’s still almost too afraid to try and find someone else. </p><p>Ten is silent for a few moments - Johnny foolishly thinks he’s dropped the subject, but then Ten’s bouncing himself into the seat next to him. He grabs at Johnny’s arm, trailing his fingers over the sunflower tattoo that sits just below Johnny’s elbow, squeezing his muscles in the way he always does. </p><p>“You’re alright though?” Ten’s voice is weirdly tender, lacking it’s usual mocking tone. “I know you’re happy on your own, but me and Kun do worry about you being lonely sometimes.”</p><p>Johnny smiles warmly at him, fondness for his friend overriding any previous feelings of irritation. He leans in to gently press a kiss against Ten’s cheek, their usual method of affection for each other.</p><p>“I’m fine. You know I’m perfectly happy waiting for fate to strike or whatever the expression is. It’s easier than chasing after something that’s going to hurt me in the end, anyway.” He pauses, petting Louis when the kitten crawls onto his lap to sprawl there. “Besides, who knows, maybe this is the year it finally happens and you can finally stop making grindr accounts for me.”</p><p>“It was one time!” Ten protests immediately. “The people on bumble are nicer anyway, I made you an account on there last night, you already have a ton of messages because I used the latest gym selfie you sent me.” </p><p>Johnny groans. Hopefully fate does start looking out for him so he doesn’t have to put up with this anymore. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div><p>Johnny stifles a yawn as he looks tiredly around the semi-busy coffee shop he works at part time. </p><p>It’s early on a Tuesday morning, one of the first of the new school year. It’s a time that he would usually be in a media law lecture, his second one ever, but that had thankfully been cancelled this week. His original and much preferred plan had been to sleep in as late as Louis (and also Ten - if he’s being honest, mostly Ten) would let him, before rolling out of bed and onto the sofa for a day of netflix and playing Elder Scrolls Online with Mark and Taeyong. </p><p>Instead, he’s here, covering Kun’s early morning shift so his friend has time to relax after working himself to the bone the past few weeks. Johnny sighs, running his fingers through his still slightly damp hair, curling at the ends from the hurried shower he forced himself to take earlier. He’s not mad at Kun - he’s not even sure it’s possible to be mad at the other man, especially considering how he’s doomed to spend the rest of his life trying to wrangle Ten. But he can’t stop himself from daydreaming about his duvet.</p><p>The next hour or two goes by slowly, customers a slow trickle coming in the form of harried-looking professors and small groups of students stopping by before their classes begin for the day. Johnny spends his downtime flicking through one of the books on the reading list for the new literature class he’s taking this semester. He’s about two chapters into <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> when the cafe door swings open, bringing in the chill of the late September wind.</p><p>“Hey Kun,” comes an awkward laugh, the speaker clearly so entertained by their own joke that they’re struggling to get the rest of it out. “You look different today, bro.”</p><p>Johnny rolls his eyes, glancing up from his book to regard Mark with an unamused look. </p><p>“Very funny.” He deadpans, raising an eyebrow for emphasis. His friend just responds with another giggle, the cafe door closing behind him and another figure who followed him in. </p><p>“Where is Kun, actually?” Mark asks, already fishing around in his pocket to hand Johnny his staff discount card (probably the biggest advantage to working here - the only one, apart from money, if Johnny’s being honest). </p><p>“Swapped shifts so he could get some rest,” Johnny replies, sliding his book back under the counter. “So probably getting annoyed to death by Ten by about now.”</p><p>Mark laughs in reply, easily amused by his friend as always. </p><p>“Poor dude, he’d have probably had more peace if he’d have just come in and napped in the back like we usually do.”</p><p>“Poor dude indeed,” Johnny echoes, standing up to his full height and rolling his shoulder to wake the muscles up again. “What can I get you?” </p><p>“Uh, a regular iced tea,” Mark starts, before turning to the side. “What are you having, dude?”</p><p>Johnny goes to tune out their conversation, moving to grab a cup for Mark’s drink. He falters though, distracted by a weird sensation that comes on quickly, settling over his skin not unlike the way the sunlight streaming through the windows does. Something deep in the recesses of his mind stirs, alerted by the fact that something <i>clearly</i> important is about to happen and, if he’s not quick enough, he’ll miss it entirely. Pausing, his eyes follow Mark’s movement, fully registering the presence of his friend for the first time. </p><p>The other man is, there’s no other word for it really, <i>unworldly</i>. His hair is dyed a darkish pink, slightly wavy as it falls softly over his forehead in a style Johnny knows would take him at least an hour to replicate. Meanwhile his face is an almost indescribable level of handsome - one that wouldn’t look out of place in a painting hanging in a museum, with a chiseled jaw and slightly rounded cheeks that don’t detract from his sharp cheekbones. It’s the kind of face that people write poems about: Johnny hates poetry with a burning passion but suddenly he feels like he could outwrite Shakespeare any day. Could write endless sonnets about the way the plain black sweatshirt and grey jeans the stranger is wearing make him look like he’s just about to waltz down the runway, instead of standing here in a student-filled coffee shop. </p><p>Johnny stares, knows he’s staring, mentally wishes he could shake himself for staring. He has his sharpie poised to write on the cup he somehow managed to grab, painfully aware that the situation is growing more awkward by the second. Mark’s friend stares back at him, eyes wide in an expression that would be comical if it wasn’t being directed towards Johnny, probably making a mental note to file for a restraining order the second he leaves the cafe. </p><p>Mark glances between the two, squinting a little in confusion before realisation dawns on his face.</p><p>“Oh yeah, you guys haven’t met! Johnny, this is my friend Jaehyun, the one I play basketball with when you’re busy.”</p><p>That makes sense, Johnny thinks to himself. Jaehyun is tall - not quite as tall as Johnny, who’s about half a head taller, but tall enough that he probably also gets the <i>so you play basketball, right?</i> thing all the time. </p><p>Jaehyun nods, smile slightly awkward as he joins Mark at the counter properly. </p><p>“Hi,” He greets Johnny, voice deep and coloured with a hint of shyness. “Mark talks about you a lot.”</p><p>“That’s not a good sign,” Johnny tries a laugh, hoping to try and remedy the situation with humour. “Mark tends to make it easy to make fun of him, so you probably don’t have the best impression of me.”</p><p>Mark responds with a slightly offended <i>hey!</i>, while Jaehyun’s only reply is a polite but awkward laugh, eyes avoiding meeting Johnny’s which says it all really. Johnny cringes inwardly, definitely wishing he was in bed at home right now. Mark, despite being possibly one of the most socially awkward people he knows, thankfully seems to pick up on the fact that things appear to be spiralling a bit. </p><p>“So Jaehyun… What did you wanna order again?”</p><p>“Um… an iced americano, please.”</p><p>“Good choice.” Johnny wishes he knew when to shut up, but apparently all it takes is a pretty face for him to lose the ability to communicate with other human beings. He takes the money Jaehyun slips into his hand, their fingers brushing and sending electricity shooting up his spine. This is hell, he’s in hell, should never have left his apartment this morning. </p><p>“Maybe we could all play basketball together one time, we’d make a good team!” Mark smiles, ever the ray of sunshine in any situation. </p><p>Jaehyun looks vaguely like he’d rather shove an entire basketball up his ass, but he nods politely as he echoes Mark’s statement. </p><p>“Yes, that would be nice.”</p><p>Johnny makes a non-committal noise, busying himself with making their drinks, thankful that he’s finally able to turn his back on the pair. He can hear Mark making quiet conversation, something about a soccer game and homework, but his main focus is on trying to not spill anything, worried he’s embarrassed himself enough. Thankfully he manages the task without incident, sliding the two finished drinks across the bar. Mark picks his up, smiling when he sees the little smiley face that Johnny draws on every cup out of habit. </p><p>“Thanks dude. Text me when you’re done and we’ll hang, yeah?”</p><p>“Sure.” Johnny smiles, watching Mark head for the door with a wave. Jaehyun follows, offering Johnny a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, before he disappears through the door too. </p><p>Johnny sighs, letting his head drop into his hands once the door swings shut once more. Weird, he thinks to himself. He’s never acted like that around someone he just met before - sure, Jaehyun is probably the most handsome someone he just met he’s come across in forever, but normally Johnny is a lot smoother than this. He must just be tired.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div><p>Johnny flops into a seat, dropping his bag on the floor as he goes. </p><p>It’s his first literature lecture of the semester and he is tired, his body protesting that waking up for an 8am start is nothing short of torture. He absentmindedly takes a sip of his iced americano as he glances around the lecture hall, trying to pick out any familiar faces. He doesn’t have any luck, the bleary-eyed students dotted around the room all strangers to him - he’s not surprised though, this isn’t a required module for his major, so he didn’t really expect any of his classmates to show up here. He’s not even 100% sure why he decided to take literature, apart from it being recommended that he fill up some extra credits he’d rolled over from last year. It’d just felt <i>right</i> when he picked it, as if something he couldn’t quite comprehend had been guiding his hand when he put it down on his schedule. </p><p>He’s fishing around in the depths of his bag for a working pen when he hears a quiet cough from somewhere to his right. He straightens up quickly, and is immediately met with the somewhat familiar face of Mark’s friend from the coffee shop the other day.</p><p>“Um…” Said friend starts, biting at his bottom lip. </p><p>Johnny smiles politely.  “Hey! Jaehyun right?” He doesn’t need to ask, would probably be able to easily pick Jaehyun’s face out of any crowd, but feels that’s the least awkward way to continue this encounter. </p><p>Visible relief washes over Jaehyun’s face as he tentatively smiles back. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s Jaehyun.” He replies.</p><p>Jaehyun is an incredible level of handsome, Johnny notes to himself. A level of handsome that he wields almost like a weapon against the grey dreariness of the early morning. His hair is different today, meticulously coiffed over his forehead in a way that puts Johnny’s barely tamed bedhead to shame. Whoever told him to dye it that soft peachy colour deserves some sort of award, maybe even the Nobel peace prize if Johnny’s being honest here. He’s so fixated on the other man’s appearance that he misses what he says next. </p><p>“Oh, sorry what was that? I zoned out a second.” </p><p>“I asked if it was okay if I sit with you,” Again, Jaehyun bites his lower lip briefly, hands fidgeting in the sleeves of his oversized grey cardigan. “You’re the only one I recognise in here.”</p><p>That surprises Johnny, who’d assumed their first meeting was disastrous enough that Jaehyun would want to avoid associating with him at all costs. He’s also slightly mesmerised by the way Jaehyun’s teeth work his lip, having to shake his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. Then he remembers what shaking his head means, and immediately nods perhaps too vigourously to try and make up for it. </p><p>“Yeah sure!” He smiles, shuffling onto the next seat so Jaehyun can slide in next to him. Their thighs press against each other briefly, sending a volt of electricity up Johnny’s spine which he shoves to the back of his brain to deal with later. He’s probably just keyed up from being tired. </p><p>“Do you take literature too? I’ve never seen you in my lectures before.” Jaehyun asks, pulling a sticker covered laptop out of his backpack. He recognises one as part of a set of tiger stickers that Doyoung had made for Mark’s last birthday - Johnny has a matching one on his exercise mat at home. Mark must have passed this one onto Jaehyun at some point. </p><p>“No, I take film and photography,” Johnny replies. “One of my professors mentioned this lecture to me and I thought it’d fit in well with my other modules, so I decided I might as well take it.” </p><p>“But why literature?” Jaehyun fixes him with a look that makes Johnny feel strangely seen, like Jaehyun is staring into his soul and everything in it is laid bare for him. </p><p>“I… don’t know really. I guess I just liked the look of the books we have to read? Like I like romance novels, as cheesy as that sounds. Plus I was good at English class in high school so I figured I could put that to use.” </p><p>Jaehyun keeps looking at him, processing his words as his face is gently lit by his laptop screen. His background is a photo of a beach at sunset, the kind of photo that wouldn’t look out of place hanging on the walls of some artsy coffee shop in Hongdae. Johnny muses over this, decides that Jaehyun with his oversized knitwear is definitely the kind of guy that hangs out in places like that.</p><p>“You seem like the type to like romances.” Jaehyun glances away from Johnny’s face at last, opening up a blank word document and typing up the date, lesson number and course code. He’s one of those people, Johnny notes, tucking the information away to go over in his mind later. Also - what does that mean? The type who likes romances? Is Johnny that obvious? “Your school taught English?”</p><p>“Oh, no, I’m American,” Johnny scribbles the date down at the top of his notebook, feeling like that’s the least he can do. “I was born and raised in Chicago.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes light up for the first time since he and Johnny met.</p><p>“Really? I lived in Connecticut for a few years when I was younger, I moved back to Korea when I was like ten though so I don’t remember much.” </p><p>A shame, Johnny thinks to himself. Jaehyun would’ve fit in in an American high school, could easily see him as the star of the football team or something cool like that, everyone fawning over him as he cut through the corridors in his jersey. </p><p>“What made you come to Korea?” The actual Jaehyun is asking him now. </p><p>“Uh, divine intervention?” Johnny chuckles at his own joke. When he realises Jaehyun is still looking at him expectantly, he elaborates. “You know when you get a random feeling that you, like, have to do something? Like nothing’s gonna go wrong if you don’t do it, but if you do do it your life will be changed forever in the best way? That’s what made me want to come here.”</p><p>“I… I see…” Jaehyun studies his face, looking at him curiously, as if he’s trying to find something that isn’t there. </p><p>Johnny runs a hand through his hair sheepishly. “I know it sounds crazy but it’s the best way I can sum it up.”</p><p>Jaehyun tilts his head, squinting a little bit. “No… I think I get it. You mean like destiny?”</p><p>“Yeah, like destiny, that’s a good word for it.” </p><p>There’s a ripple of disturbance through the room as their professor enters and begins setting up, but Johnny largely ignores it, the person next to him much more interesting. </p><p>“Do you believe in stuff like that?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Jaehyun hums. </p><p>“Destiny and all that stuff. Like the idea that fate has everything mapped out for you.”</p><p>Jaehyun hums again, the noise thoughtful this time. “I guess? Who doesn’t really, it’s kind of everywhere if you ask me.”</p><p>“Mmm.” Johnny nods sagely. “Like dogs, you see them everywhere.”</p><p>It’s a dumb comment but Jaehyun barks out a laugh, deep dimples appearing on his cheeks and- oh, it’s not fair, he’s one of the most beautiful people Johnny has ever seen, continues to get even more beautiful the longer Johnny looks at him. </p><p>“Exactly like that, I guess.” Jaehyun smiles at him one last time before turning to face the front, immediately taking notes as the professor begins.</p><p>Johnny’s notepad remains empty for the majority of the hour. He’s too busy being smitten. </p>
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</div><p>Johnny settles easily into the routine of the new school year.</p><p>Work is the same as it is all the time but Johnny secretly likes the mundanity, the rest of his life tends to make up for it anyway. He’s kept busy with constant film and photography projects, a new one cropping up as soon as he’s handed in a finished one, it feels like - a never ending cycle of filming and editing and travelling to photography locations and then yet more editing. Ten and Kun and Mark and the rest of his friends are the same as ever, weaving their way into his schedule so he can’t neglect them either. </p><p>Jaehyun always sits next to him in any of their literature classes. The younger man is easy enough to get on with, doesn’t give much away in their conversations but is also open enough that Johnny feels entirely at ease around him. Johnny never really sees him outside of campus (“I don’t get out much.” Jaehyun admits to him sheepishly when asked) but he finds himself wanting to, finds himself quickly becoming more and more invested in the relative mystery that is Jung Jaehyun. He’s not exactly sure what it is about the other man that has him so intrigued. Sure - he’s incredibly handsome and polite and all that, but everyone else seems able to go on with their day to day lives without being affected by the magnetic pull that seems to have Johnny by the throat. </p><p>Ten laughs in a way that he doesn’t like when he tells him all of this. </p><p>“What?” Johnny frowns, trying and failing to see where the humour is in all of this.</p><p>“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Ten winks at him, then squawks when Johnny tackles him onto the rug. </p>
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</div><p>His good mood is quickly banished by the arrival of a new poetry book in lit class, an endless sea of pages of iambic pentameter droning on and on until Johnny wants to bang his head against the tiles of the kitchen wall.  </p><p>He hates this book. Really hates it, and would happily kick it into the nearest body of water if he wasn’t so concerned about harming the wildlife. He’s been trying to read it for what feels like eternity, and it in reality, is a good few weeks, but now is simply putting off finishing it purely out of spite. He knows it’s dumb to feel spiteful towards a book, the author of which probably wouldn’t care that Johnny hates it, would probably be delighted that he hates it, but he also feels that finishing it is letting the book win somehow. </p><p>He’s sat in the living room cross-legged in front of his laptop as he relays all of this to Kun. Kun looks vaguely distressed at his vitriol. </p><p>“It’s a book Johnny, literally just a book. Forcing yourself to finish it is not letting it defeat you, especially if it’s for a grade.”</p><p>Johnny sighs, slamming the cover of his heavily annotated copy shut. Louis startles from where he’s been peacefully snoring in his lap, glaring up at him in disgust. Johnny coos at him, scratching behind his ears until he starts purring again. </p><p>“Sorry about that pal.” He soothes.</p><p>Kun watches him, an eyebrow raised. “You know the sooner you finish the book, the sooner you can write your damn report and never have to think about it again.”</p><p>Johnny rolls his eyes. “Yes dad.” He narrowly avoids the pillow Kun tosses at his head, laughs as it sails past its target and into the kitchen somewhere. </p><p>“Can’t you talk it out with your friend- sorry, classmate? Maybe he’s in the same boat.”</p><p>Johnny shoots him a look at the correction, not believing Kun’s innocent expression for a second. His roommate is right though, maybe Jaehyun is struggling too, and they could bond over it. He debates hunting him down on social media there and then but realises how late in the evening it actually is, and Jaehyun seems like the type to go to bed early. </p><p>The idea of asking Jaehyun is still kicking around his mind the next morning in his literature lecture. He’s bored out of his mind, today’s class about something way too dull for this early on a Wednesday morning. He slides a look at Jaehyun, seeing the way the other is diligently taking notes. He takes his chance.</p><p>“Jaehyun,” He murmurs, keeping his eyes trained on the slideshow their professor is talking over at the front of the room. “I hate this book so fucking much.”</p><p>Jaehyun snorts loudly, the noise so sudden in the relative quiet of the room that it makes the people surrounding them jump. A mischievous smile spreads over Johnny’s face - he’d not expected that kind of reaction but it felt like a victory, even with the way Jaehyun was fixing him with a mortified look.</p><p>Their professor fixes them with a warning look before turning back to the slides. Johnny takes the opportunity to slide a bit closer to Jaehyun.</p><p>“That was your fault.” Jaehyun hisses at him as soon as he’s close enough.</p><p>“My deepest apologies.” Johnny chances a wink at him, turning away and missing the way Jaehyun’s eyes widen and his ears turn red. </p><p>“Not accepted,” Jaehyun huffs, aggressive in the way he types out another sentence. “But for what it’s worth, I hate this book too. I’m even dreaming in rhymes and yet I’m still struggling with the book report.”</p><p>“I haven’t even worked up the courage to start so you’re way ahead of me.” Johnny pauses, sensing an in here. “Do you wanna maybe meet up and work on them together?”</p><p>Jaehyun stops typing, hands hovering over the keyboard. “Really?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Johnny replies, writing down yet another example of literary tropes in romance novels. “Maybe it’d be easier if we teamed up? We could get coffee?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes flicker towards the front of the room before he steals a glance at Johnny, meeting his steady gaze. The tips of his ears are still red. </p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Johnny smiles, that feeling of triumph returning tenfold. </p><p>“Great.” He manages to reply, before someone coughs pointedly behind them and they both return to note taking in silence for the rest of the hour.  </p><p>“Hey,” Jaehyun begins later, voice soft and almost drowned out in the general noise of everyone else packing up around them. He’s biting his lip again, something that Johnny has come to realise is a habit of comfort for the other man. It’s almost endearing. “Can I have your number?”</p><p>Johnny was not expecting <i>that</i>. The surprise must show on his face because Jaehyun looks almost panicked. </p><p>“No- Not- Not like that!” Jaehyun emphasises this by shaking his hands in a way that Johnny could only describe as cute. “I meant like- If we’re gonna be studying together, it’d make it easier right?”</p><p>“Right,” Johnny replies, trying to soothe the other man. “Of course it will.” </p><p>Jaehyun’s shoulders slump a little, pulling out a slightly scuffed phone that he hands to Johnny. Johnny quickly enters his number, adding a book and coffee emoji after his name for good measure, which makes Jaehyun smile when he takes his phone back. </p><p>“Text me whenever, I have work and all that but I can always get Mark or Kun to cover for me.”</p><p>“Cool.” Jaehyun smiles at him, giving him a little awkward wave before slipping off to his next class. </p><p>Johnny watches him go, feeling oddly fond. </p><p>Jaehyun texts him later that evening when he’s having dinner with Kun, Ten out at a yoga class or something like that. </p><p><b>[08:32 PM] unknown number</b>: hey sorry if this disturbs you, i just got back from the gym<br/>
<b>[08:33 PM] unknown number</b>: do you have time to meet up next monday? i have a class in the morning but that finishes at 10 and then i’m free all day, i’m not free before then though<br/>
<b>[08:47 PM] unknown number</b>: oh it’s jaehyun btw!! sorry should’ve said haha</p><p>Johnny smiles to himself, quickly saving Jaehyun’s number in his phone before replying.</p><p><b>[08:57 PM] me</b>: hey! no problem haha<br/>
<b>[08:57 PM] me</b>: that monday is fine for me, i don’t have any classes and i’m not at work that day<br/>
<b>[08:58 PM] me</b>: we could meet at the cafe i work at? i can get us mad discount lol especially if mark’s at work</p><p>Kun is watching him, a look in his eyes that Johnny can’t exactly place but recognises that it wouldn’t look unusual if it was on Ten’s face. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing.” His tone doesn’t give anything away, but still makes Johnny suspicious. “New friend?”</p><p>“Just a classmate from my lit class.”</p><p>“I see.” Kun nods. “Just a classmate.”</p><p>“What does-” Johnny’s reply is cut off when his phone vibrates on the table.</p><p><b>[09:03 PM] jaehyun 📚☕</b>: sounds good to me :) especially the discount bit haha</p><p>It’s in no way a groundbreaking reply but it brings a smile to his face anyway - he misses the way Kun grins to himself as he slinks off to report to Ten.  </p>
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</div><p>Johnny comes home three days before their first scheduled coffee session to find Jaehyun sat primly on his living room sofa, looking for all the world as if he’d rather be anywhere else. </p><p>Johnny doesn’t notice him at first, distracted while he kicks his boots off and tugs his sweater over his head, shirt sliding halfway up his chest with the movement. When his shirt slides back into place, freeing his view, he’s met with Jaehyun staring at his (well-defined if he says so himself) stomach. Half a second later Jaehyun startles, eyes immediately flickering up to meet Johnny’s when he realises he’s been caught.</p><p>“Hey there.” Johnny bites back a chuckle, not quite on a level of friendship with the other man to be comfortable teasing him just yet. </p><p>“H-Hi,” The apples of Jaehyun’s cheeks are dusted pink, matching his hair wonderfully. He looks especially soft today, the fluffy curls of his hair complimenting his pristine white sweater perfectly. “I didn’t k-know you knew Ten too.”</p><p>“I live with him.” Jaehyun had probably guessed that by now, but oh well. “I didn’t know you were friends.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say we were friends. We’ve had a class together in the past, I don’t know why he invited me over right now, especially when he…” Jaehyun pauses, turning his head towards Ten and Kun’s bedroom door. </p><p>Johnny does the same, and can just about make out the sound of Ten having a slightly heated phone conversation with someone. Someone that, judging by the tone of voice Ten is using, is probably their friend Yangyang, whom Ten and Kun had all but formally adopted as their second born (after Louis). He snorts.</p><p>“Well, if he’s talking to who I think he’s talking to in there, I’m afraid he’s gonna be a while.” </p><p>“Oh.” Jaehyun’s eyes flicker to their front door, clearly weighing up whether he should just leave. </p><p>Johnny had come home with all the intentions of lazing around until he could be bothered to drag himself to the gym, but he feels weird leaving Jaehyun alone in their living room for god knows however long Ten will be. Perhaps playing host for a bit will do something to help chase away the awkwardness that’s quickly settling over them, he decides. </p><p>“Can I get you a- uh,” He pauses, mentally taking inventory of the state of their kitchen right now. They’re completely out of milk and coffee, Ten having used the last of it in some disastrous attempt at making a tiramisu that found its end at the bottom of their trash can. It’s Kun’s turn to grab groceries today, but he won’t be back from class for at least another two hours, leaving Johnny a little bit stuck. Jaehyun blinks, looking up at him expectantly.</p><p>“Well… I can offer you the finest tap water we have on hand?”</p><p>Jaehyun smiles, letting out a laugh that’s more out of politeness than anything else, but it still makes Johnny’s heart do a funny little flutter. </p><p>“Well if it’s the finest tap water you can offer, how could I resist?”</p><p>Johnny nods, crossing the room to enter their little kitchen area. He’s checking their cupboard to see if they have any clean glasses when an idea hits him.</p><p>“Hey,” Jaehyun’s eyes flicker to him from where they’d been admiring one of Kun’s plants (a peace lily - his crowning achievement). “Do you wanna go get coffee instead?”</p><p>Jaehyun blinks at him in response and Johnny quietly panics that he’s crossed some imaginary line in their tentative friendship - so tentative that he isn’t even sure he can label what they have going on as a friendship.</p><p>“We could work on our reports if-” </p><p>“Sure, coffee sounds even better.” Jaehyun interrupts him, pulling his denim jacket back on. </p><p>Johnny is dumbstruck for a second, not expecting this to have worked. He manages to pull himself together, quickly excusing himself to his room to ditch his backpack and run his fingers through his hair. When he comes back out Jaehyun is crouched on the floor, tickling an appreciative Louis under the chin. He smiles up at Johnny.</p><p>“I didn’t know you had a cat.”</p><p>“Technically I don’t, Ten brought him home one day. However Louis has made it clear that the entire apartment is his now, and who am I to argue?”</p><p>“He’s cute.” The look in Jaehyun’s eyes is fond as he runs his hand down Louis’ back. Johnny watches, sure his gaze is probably even fonder.</p><p> </p><p>“So why literature?” Johnny asks half an hour later, iced americanos in front of the pair of them.</p><p>“Huh?” Jaehyun had been distractedly looking around the cafe. Johnny had brought them to the one that he works at, mostly because he knows Mark is at work and can be persuaded into giving them an even bigger discount than their staff one allows. </p><p>Johnny smiles at him, repeating his question. “What made you pick literature?” </p><p>“I’m not entirely sure?” He pauses. “I’ve always liked books, read a lot when I was younger. I like the classics, especially the romances which I know you’ll get. But I mostly picked it because I got to applications, panicked and applied for the first thing I thought I’d get the grades for.”</p><p>“Oh no.” Johnny sympathises, remembers being in a similar situation all those years ago. His phone buzzes with a text from Ten but he places it face down on the table, wanting to devote his full attention to Jaehyun. This is the most he’s heard Jaehyun speak about himself since they first met, and he’s determined to find out as much about the other man as he can while he has the chance. </p><p>“Oh yes. My parents wanted me to go into medicine or something else like that, something I’ve never really been into, so they were really disappointed when they found out what I’d actually picked.” Another pause. “They still are if I’m being honest, we don’t talk much because of it, among other things. But I’m happy with it, so I don’t really care.”</p><p>Johnny feels a pang in his heart, almost wanting to reach out and give Jaehyun’s hand a squeeze where it’s laid on the table. He forces himself to stay still though, moving to carefully steer the subject away from what is obviously a sore spot.</p><p>“Do you wanna be a writer?”</p><p>“I don’t think so.” Jaehyun shakes his head for emphasis, his hair bouncing with the motion. “I think I want to teach? But like, not at high school level, maybe as a professor or something like that.”</p><p>Johnny can easily imagine Jaehyun as a professor, looking dapper in a turtleneck and blazer, his future students hanging off of his every word like Johnny is right now. </p><p>“What about you?” Jaehyun’s question brings him back to the current day. “You study film, right? Do you want to be a director?”</p><p>“I think I’m more into the photography side really. I like my film modules and they’re a lot of fun to do but they’re also so much work, I don’t really see myself doing it for the rest of my life.” Johnny stirs the ice in his drink. “I’m kinda lazy like that.”</p><p>Jaehyun laughs loudly, dimples appearing on his cheeks again as his eyes curve into crescents. Johnny finds himself quickly falling. </p><p>“What about your parents? Do they care about what you’re studying?” Jaehyun asks him.</p><p>“Nah, they’re supportive of literally everything I do.” He smiles warmly to himself, eyes fond. “They miss me a lot since I moved here but my mom always said that they’d never want to hold me back in anything, so as long as I’m happy, they’re happy.”</p><p>Jaehyun finds himself smiling too. “Your mom sounds nice.”</p><p>Johnny laughs. “She is, all my friends back in Chicago said she treated them like they were her own kids too.” He fixes Jaehyun with a look that’s tinged with amusement. “She’d love you, she has a weakness for dimples.” (If Johnny’s being honest with himself, he’s starting to develop one too.)</p><p>Jaehyun flushes all the way to the tips of his ears, turning away to hide his face behind his hand. Johnny laughs again, loving the shy reactions of the other man. Jaehyun’s saved from further teasing though by the way Johnny’s phone starts buzzing incessantly, forcing him to finally acknowledge Ten’s messages.</p><p><b>[04:25 PM] ten 😽</b>: random question but is our apartment haunted?? like really really haunted because i had someone round to visit and they’ve just completely vanished?? can that happen??<br/>
<b>[04:28 PM] ten 😽</b>: i'm being serious john im freaking out are you almost home?? can you pick up some sage please<br/>
<b>[04:34 PM] ten 😽</b>: wait your stuff is here you know jaehyun????? you stole him from me????<br/>
<b>[04:34 PM] ten 😽</b>: ANSWER ME YOU SNAKE I KNOW YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON RIGHT NOW</p><p>Johnny snorts, typing out a quick reply of <i>you left him alone</i> and <i>get over yourself</i>. Jaehyun looks at him curiously.</p><p>“It’s Ten,” He clarifies for him. “He’s mad you’re out with me.”</p><p>“Oh.” Guilt flashes across Jaehyun’s face briefly. “Maybe I should’ve waited for him.”</p><p>Johnny shakes his head. “We’ve been here, what, an hour? Think of sitting in our living room alone for all that time for someone you said you’ve met twice. Especially when that someone is Ten.”</p><p>Jaehyun laughs at that. “He’s nice!” He finishes the last of his coffee, prodding at the leftover ice in the cup with his straw. “I think I just prefer the company of a different kind of person.” He doesn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s eyes flicker to meet his.</p><p>Johnny feels strangely hot under his shirt.</p>
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</div><p>“I can’t believe you would stoop so low.” </p><p>Johnny rolls his eyes, trying to tune out Ten in favour of thrashing Yuta in League. Ten is not to be dismissed though, flopping down on the sofa and kicking at his back.</p><p>“Answer me!”</p><p>Johnny responds by grabbing his ankle and dragging him back off the sofa to join him where he’s seated on the floor, ignoring the outraged shriek he gets in return.</p><p>“You’re the one that left him alone in the living room, you clearly had other priorities.”</p><p>“I was gonna come back! Not my fault Yangyang is a brat, you both ruined my chance at being a good friend, it’s all your fault.” </p><p>“Jaehyun says you had one class together and you barely even spoke, I’d hardly call that <i>friends</i>.”</p><p>Ten gasps in offence, slapping a hand over his heart for emphasis. “We sat next to each other at least twice, that’s the perfect basis of a lifelong friendship.”</p><p>“Oh definitely - in fact, after two hours together I would argue that’s even a great foundation for marriage.”</p><p>Ten huffs, sipping the chai latte Johnny brought him back as a peace offering. He returns to his previous position on the sofa, leaning forward to drape himself over Johnny’s back. He’s silent for a while, watches Johnny’s character bounding across the screen. Considers the way Johnny had been beaming when he’d arrived back home, considers how Johnny always seems to be smiling lately whenever the subject of Jaehyun comes up. </p><p>“Do you like him?”</p><p>“Hm?” Is Johnny’s reply as he gives up, says goodbye to Yuta, and closes the game. </p><p>“Jaehyun, do you like Jaehyun.”</p><p>“I guess? I’d call us friends, so?”</p><p>“Friends.” Ten repeats, humming a little under his breath. “Just friends.”</p><p>Johnny turns to look at him. “What are you getting at?”</p><p>“Nothing.” Ten smiles sweetly at him, leaning down to squeeze his thigh. “Let’s order in tonight, I’m starving.”</p><p>Johnny doesn’t trust his airy tone, thinking back to the way Kun had also used it a couple days ago. It feels like his friends are conspiring against him and he doesn’t like it, isn’t used to being the one on the receiving end. Jaehyun really is just a friend, Johnny’s slight crush that seems to be developing be damned, and he apparently needs to work to convince them both this.</p><p>But then, he argues with himself, how can he really convince them when he’s struggling to convince himself?</p>
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</div><p>“Yeah I know Jaehyun,” Doyoung takes a sip of his coke, ice clinking as he places the glass back on the table. “We’ve been friends since first year, he’s one of my roommates.”</p><p>Johnny hums around the straw of his milkshake, eyes scanning the menu in his other hand. It’s tradition for him and Doyoung to meet up and grab lunch at least twice a month, and this time they’re at a new American-style diner Johnny had seen on instagram. Doyoung had tried to protest that it wasn’t exactly his thing, but Johnny had tagged the younger man in the diner’s posts incessantly until he finally gave in.</p><p>“What’s his deal?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Doyoung fixes him with a look. “It’s Jaehyun, he doesn’t really have a ‘deal’.”</p><p>“Well.” Johnny pauses, thinking over how to put his thoughts into words.</p><p>His and Jaehyun’s reports have long been handed in but they still meet up to study together. Jaehyun’s taken to occasionally coming into the cafe while Johnny’s on shift to sit at the bar so they can work between customers, Jaehyun flicking through the print outs from Johnny’s contemporary photography class in admiration when he thinks the other isn’t looking. They’ve even managed to play that game of basketball with Mark, collapsing near each other in sweaty exhaustion, Jaehyun’s breath hot on Johnny’s cheek as he laughed at a dumb joke the taller man made. </p><p>However, Johnny can’t seem to shake the feeling that the other man is still trying to keep him somewhat at arm’s length. </p><p>“It just kinda feels like.... Like he doesn’t like me? We get on pretty great and I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to mortally offend him, but it just feels like there’s some kind of barrier between us that I can’t get over.”</p><p>“Oh.” Doyoung doesn’t look particularly concerned. “He’s just- just like that? He’s pretty shy and awkward until you get to properly know him. It took us like half of first year to actually get comfortable with each other, and that’s with us sharing the same room 24/7 and him having dinner with me and my parents regularly.” </p><p>Johnny mulls this over, biting his lip. Doyoung watches him for a second, before sighing. </p><p>“I’m sure once he gets over himself you’ll be alright, as annoying as you can be you’re good at putting people at ease.” Doyoung pauses to relay their orders to the waiter. “You’d make a good pair.”</p><p>Johnny, though incredibly grateful as always for his friend’s advice, is also never one to pass over an opportunity to tease the younger. He pounces. </p><p>“What, like you and Taeyong?” He jokes, making a kissing face for good measure.</p><p>He’s met with a sharp kick to the shin, the pointed toe of Doyoung’s boot digging in painfully. </p><p>“You deserved that.” Doyoung hisses.</p><p>Johnny pouts, making a show of rubbing his leg. Doyoung huffs, angrily sipping his drink again in a way that only he could pull off. </p><p>It’s almost comical really, the fact that Taeyong, who Doyoung had declared to be his mortal enemy from their first meeting, who never missed a chance to bicker with him, turned out to be the other’s soulmate. Johnny fondly remembers the way that Doyoung had called him in panic, having seen the matching almost rose-shaped mark on Taeyong’s back by chance. He’d proceeded to spend the next three hours pacing Johnny’s room in wavering hysteria, Johnny watching in growing amusement from his desk before he managed to convince Doyoung to just <i>talk</i> to Taeyong about it. It could’ve been a disaster but the pair surprised him, growing to be almost as unbeatable a unit as Ten and Kun were. </p><p>“Stop looking at me like that, you’re annoying.” </p><p>“Can’t help it,” Johnny retorts. “I’m just thinking fondly about the two couples in my life.”</p><p>“You’re comparing me and Taeyong to Ten and Kun?” Doyoung looks offended at the thought, as if the thought of being that level of affectionate with his soulmate is something disgusting. </p><p>Johnny knows him better than that though, knows that he and Taeyong have matching hoodies and memorised each other’s takeout orders and spend every social event cuddled together like they’re the only people in the room. Doyoung probably knows he’s seeing right through his ruse too, judging by the way his ears are slowly turning red.  </p><p>“Don’t worry,” Johnny offers peacefully. “As the one who has to live with their mushiness, I don’t think anyone is capable of reaching their level.”</p><p>Doyoung simply scoffs in reply. They fall into silence as they eat, Doyoung only speaking up again once he’s finished the majority of his sandwich.</p><p>“What is your soulmate mark anyway? I’ve never managed to see it the entire time we’ve been friends and yet I saw Ten’s the first time I ever met him.”</p><p>“It’s a constellation,” Johnny explains. “It’s on my hip so that’s why you’ve never seen it.”</p><p>“A constellation? Which one - ursa major to match the rest of your ridiculously oversized body?”</p><p>Johnny snorts. “Funny, but no. It’s my star sign. Aquarius.”</p><p>“Aquarius…” Doyoung frowns at a stray piece of lettuce on his plate for a moment before his head snaps back up, eyes glittering with something that looks awfully like triumph. A look that Johnny doesn’t like.</p><p>“What?” He asks. </p><p>“Oh, nothing,” Doyoung replies in that infuriatingly smug way of his, when he knows something and he’s gonna leave Johnny on his own to figure it out. “It’s just funny.”</p><p>“What is?” Johnny’s eyes narrow. </p><p>“Not telling.” Doyoung smirks back. “You have to figure it out for yourself.”</p><p>Johnny simply groans, flopping back against the booth they’re seated in. Doyoung pats his hand, somehow managing to make the gesture mocking, then slips the pickle from his sandwich onto Johnny’s plate as a peace offering. </p><p>“It wouldn’t be as fun if I told you, it never is and you know that.”</p><p>“Somehow I don’t find that comforting.”</p><p>Doyoung hums. </p><p>“You say that now, just remember this and thank me later when everything settles into place.”</p>
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</div><p>“Johnny!”</p><p>Johnny turns to where he thinks he heard the shout come from, the bass of the music playing in the bar so loud he feels it vibrating in his lungs. It’s Friday night, the stars have aligned, so he has tomorrow off for what feels like the first time in forever. No-one is more thrilled about this than Taeyong, who’d spammed with him with beer and pining and crying emojis until Johnny had agreed to a night out at their favourite bar. </p><p> <i>“Johnny!”</i> </p><p>This time he’s able to locate the person shouting for him, spotting Taeyong himself waving excitedly at him from a busy table in the corner. Johnny beams, waving back before pushing his way through the already decent sized crowd around the bar. He emerges triumphant, slipping onto the stool Taeyong is enthusiastically patting next to him.</p><p>“You came!” Taeyong is excited, words slightly slurred around the edges in a way Johnny knows is only going to get more pronounced as the night goes on.</p><p>“I did, I told you I would.” His tone is fond as Taeyong slips his arm through his, hand coming up to pat at his bicep affectionately. On Taeyong’s other side Doyoung sighs, face the perfect blend of fond exasperation. </p><p>On Johnny’s left Taeil presses a beer into his hand before turning back to his conversation with Jungwoo. Johnny smiles at him in thanks, scanning around the table to take in the faces of everyone else who Taeyong managed to drag out with them. </p><p>Yangyang is sprawled across three stools (“two are for the old men - I mean Ten and Kun - whenever they show their faces” he clarifies when he meets Johnny’s questioning look), laughing loudly as he tries to tell Xiaojun a joke, no doubt at the other’s expense. On his other side is Yuta who, to Johnny’s surprise, is deep in conversation with Mark. Johnny wasn’t even aware that the two knew each other, let alone that they got on this well, completely oblivious to the presence of everyone else in the room. </p><p>Johnny then realises that the figure on the other side of Doyoung is actually Jaehyun, sitting quietly as he plays with the label on his bottle of beer. He looks - there’s no other word for it - <i>fine</i>. There’s a faint smudging of eyeliner on his upper lash line (probably the work of Taeyong) which makes his already lidded gaze look even more sultry. He’s wearing a red silk shirt, the top few buttons left undone in a way that pulls Johnny’s gaze to the muscles peeking out of the fabric. Johnny finds his mouth has gone curiously dry.</p><p>Taeyong stands up suddenly, wobbling a little bit as he does so, successfully pulling Johnny out of his increasingly inappropriate thoughts. Doyoung is immediately at Taeyong’s side, a steadying hand reaching for his waist in a way that’s so tenderly familiar it’s almost painful for Johnny to watch. Taeyong smiles at his boyfriend, tugging at his hand until Doyoung is following him off to wherever it is he wants him to go. Probably to find some sort of trouble, as is Taeyong’s usual mode of operation. </p><p>This leaves the space next to Jaehyun completely empty. The other man hasn’t even noticed Johnny yet, too busy letting his eyes lazily wander over the dance floor. Johnny considers his next move. <i>Fuck it</i>, he decides, grabbing two beers from the mass in the middle of the table before sliding across to seat himself next to Jaehyun.</p><p>“Hey.” He grins at him.</p><p>Jaehyun jumps, nearly falling off of his chair. Johnny manages to grab him at the last second, pulling him back up.</p><p>“Sorry.” He cringes, letting go of the other man’s arm once he’s situated again.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Jaehyun replies, adjusting his shirt. He looks up at Johnny once he’s done. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>Johnny shrugs, handing him the spare beer he snagged for him. “Drinking?”</p><p>Jaehyun squints at him, trying to figure out if Johnny is making fun of him. “You know Taeyong too?”</p><p>“I’m beginning to realise we have a lot more friends in common than we should have for people that just met a couple months ago.” Johnny chuckles. “But yes, Taeyong and I have been friends for years, same with Doyoung.”</p><p>Jaehyun nods thoughtfully, clearly considering this information as he takes a sip of his beer. He looks out at the crowd of their friends, leaning his head on one hand. </p><p>“I was gonna spend the night catching up on homework, but Taeyong said that was boring and I had to come out. I think I’d rather be at home though.” He frowns a little. “Maybe I am boring.”</p><p>“You’re not boring, it’s nice to stay in sometimes.” Johnny soothes. “I’m glad Taeyong convinced you to come out though.” He adds, almost shy in a way that isn’t like him at all. </p><p>Jaehyun turns to look back at him, meeting his gaze in a sure way that’s probably influenced by the alcohol. “Well, then I’m glad too.” </p><p>Ten and Kun slip in at some point among the chaos, Ten shooting Johnny a knowing look when he sees who he’s sat next to. Johnny responds by sticking his tongue out at him. Ten returns the gesture, moving to make his way over before he’s cut off by Yangyang grabbing at him with an excited shriek. Kun looks tired already as he sits down next to Xiaojun, downing half of his drink in one go. </p><p>Taeyong suddenly reappears, slamming a tray down on the table. He looks victorious as everyone immediately turns their attention to him.</p><p>“Shots.” He clarifies. Somewhere to Johnny’s right, someone groans. Doyoung is right behind Taeyong, already trying to mop up the glasses that spilt in their journey from the bar. Taeyong frowns, pushing at his boyfriend’s arm, an action that immediately brings a stormy look to Doyoung’s face. </p><p>Johnny, sensing danger, takes it upon himself to distribute the remaining glasses. Jaehyun eyes the clear liquid suspiciously, giving it a cursory sniff. He pulls a face. </p><p>“Soju.” He clarifies.</p><p>“Wouldn’t be a night out without it.” Johnny grins, grabbing his own glass. He leans forward, clinking it to the rim of Jaehyun’s shot.</p><p>“Cheers?”</p><p>Jaehyun locks eyes with his, nodding as they take their shots at the same time. He pulls another face once his glass is empty, placing it on the table next to Johnny’s.</p><p>“Cheers.” He repeats.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny isn’t sure what time it is. They’re at a different bar now - he has no idea how long it’s been since they got here or even since he left his apartment in the first place. He does know that he’s a level of drunk that is certainly going to backfire on him tomorrow. Oh, and that Jaehyun hasn’t left his side all night. </p><p>As if on cue, Jaehyun laughs loudly at a dumb joke Johnny had told to the group. It’s incredibly sexy the way he laughs, head thrown back as he puts his entire body into it. He’s pressed against Johnny’s side, so tightly tucked there the heat from his skin is bleeding through Johnny’s clothes. Ten’s eyes are practically burning a hole in the side of his head in the way that he’s watching them. There’s a smirk playing on his lips that spells nothing but trouble for Johnny later on, but right now he can’t bring himself to care. His attention doesn’t wander for too long, immediately stolen back by Jaehyun as he tries to tell Johnny something, still laughing so hard he stumbles over the words. Johnny finds himself laughing too, mourns the loss of warmth when Jaehyun pulls away from his side suddenly. </p><p>Jaehyun’s eyes wander from his face down his body, taking in every bit of his appearance. Johnny lets him, knows he looks good in the unbuttoned striped shirt he’d picked for the evening, white vest top tight across his built chest and cut low enough to show off his collarbones. Knows the carefully styled strands of his hair frame his face in just the right way, knows his jeans hug his thighs perfectly. Jaehyun’s eyes drag their way back up to meet his own, gaze so heavy Johnny could swear he almost feels it on his skin.</p><p>His eyes keep flickering to Johnny’s mouth even when he’s not talking. Their heads are so close Johnny can count each individual lash as they fan out over Jaehyun’s cheeks, the black standing out starkly against his creamy white skin. For the first time he notices a series of moles next to the other man’s mouth, the four of them forming a perfect diamond. Johnny laughs a little to himself - seems like almost everything about Jaehyun is perfect. Jaehyun’s breath is peach scented from the bottle of soju they’re sharing, the smell blending in with the deep tones of both their colognes in an intoxicating mix that has Johnny’s head spinning.  </p><p>Johnny feels like he’s in heaven and hell at the same time. No, he’s in purgatory, a voice in the back of his head helpfully supplies, a long-forgotten term left over from a world religion class a lifetime ago back in Chicago. Purgatory is a sticky overcrowded bar in which he wants to take Jaehyun into his arms, press kisses to his lips and his neck and perhaps other places and never let go, but he can’t quite seem to figure out how to make it over the imaginary barrier that’s holding him back. </p><p>Johnny’s not sure how he got here but he’s not complaining. Being pressed tightly against Jaehyun’s back on the dance floor, moving to some reggaeton song that’ll be stuck in his head for the rest of the week is far from the worst place he could find himself. His hands grip tightly at Jaehyun’s hips, pulling his ass back against his crotch as he whispers sweet promises into his ear. There’s a dark bruise glaring at him from just above Jaehyun’s collarbone - did Johnny do that? - the colour stark against the unmarred paleness of Jaehyun’s neck. Jaehyun suddenly grinds back onto him, putting enough pressure on his dick that white hot pleasure shoots through his veins. Johnny thinks he might die - or at least come in his pants right here. </p><p>The last thing he can remember before everything fades to black is Jaehyun turning around, a devilish grin plastered across his face as he leans in towards Johnny’s lips, breath fanning out over his face as Johnny closes his eyes.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>Johnny wakes up the next morning in Ten and Kun’s bed, the three of them apparently having decided to just bunk together in a pile. Ten’s pointy elbow digs into his ribs as he shuffles closer towards him, no doubt in search of warmth. His head is pounding but he manages to wriggle around a bit more, lifting an arm so Ten can press into his side with a happy sigh.</p><p>“Awake?” </p><p>“Mmm.” Johnny manages to reply, closing his eyes again. He’s still wearing his clothes from last night, jeans now suffocatingly tight around his thighs and crotch, but he’s too tired to do anything about it.</p><p>“Hungover?” Ten’s voice is tinged with amusement as Johnny nods. Ten is useless after a night of drinking, one shot enough to put him out of commission for at least the next day, so he always takes solace in knowing others are suffering with him. </p><p>“You looked like you were having fun last night. You and Jaehyun.”</p><p>That brings everything crashing back to the forefront of Johnny’s mind. He opens his eyes again, squinting as he looks at Ten and struggles to formulate a coherent sentence.</p><p>“Did- Did I- Did <i>we</i>-”</p><p>“No.” Ten looks up from where he’s been stroking a still-sleeping Kun’s hair, a smirk playing on his lips. “The most the two of you did all night was look like you were about to jump each other in the toilets, but Taeil rescued your drunk ass before you could embarrass yourselves.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Johnny doesn’t know whether he’s relieved, or disappointed. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>Jaehyun doesn’t mention that night at the bar. </p><p>Johnny half wants to bring it up, on the off chance that Jaehyun just forgot, was too drunk to remember any of it the next day. Deep down though he has a nagging feeling that that’s not the case though, that Jaehyun is just avoiding the topic out of awkwardness. </p><p>So he does the same.</p>
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</div><p>It’s a late January evening, and it’s raining. </p><p>Johnny sighs happily around a cup of tea, looking out the living room window to watch the rain fall, lit up by the yellow glow of the streetlights. Ten and Kun are away for the night, booked into some remote airbnb somewhere to celebrate their anniversary. Kun had found the listing, a sketchy traditional looking house in the middle of nowhere that he decided would be the perfect romantic spot for them to spend some time alone. Ten, the definition of whipped on a good day, had swallowed down his immediate refusal along with the rest of his third cup of coffee that day and told Kun he thought it was a wonderful idea. </p><p>Johnny’s phone chimes, vibrating against his leg.  </p><p><b>[06:12 PM] ten 😽</b>: there’s no service here i’m literally going to die of boredom<br/>
<b>[06:13 PM] ten 😽</b>: take care of louis for me, don’t let kun move on i’m gonna haunt him for the rest of his life for doing this to me<br/>
<b>[06:43 PM] ten 😽</b>: johnny i’m being serious my texts are taking a fucking eternity to send and i think there’s a cockroach in the shower screenshot this so i never listen to kun again the man looks capable but he has lost my TRUST </p><p>Johnny laughs, sending off a quick sympathetic reply before tossing his phone onto the sofa. He’s not 100% sure what to do with his time - his homework is all done, and normally he’d take the chance to bully Mark around a game of League, but his friend is out on a date. He’d refused to tell him who it was with, but Mark has always been a terrible liar, leaving Johnny with a strong feeling that it’s Yuta due to the events of their last night out. </p><p>His stomach rumbles, a forlorn noise in the quiet of the apartment. The kitchen cupboards are pretty bare, Ten having raided the last of their snacks for his and Kun’s train ride. He doesn’t particularly want to go back outside, but his desire for snacks is outweighing his desire to stay dry, so he finds himself tugging his boots on and pulling a waterproof on over his t-shirt. </p><p>The rain is growing ever heavier, thundering down against the material of his hood. He ducks into the closest 7/11, raiding the chips aisle and also snagging himself something nice from the bakery for breakfast tomorrow. He’s on his way back home, as fast as he can go without running to try and dodge the puddles, when he spots Jaehyun standing in the next street over from his apartment building. </p><p>Johnny frowns to himself, something about the scene in front of him not feeling quite right. Jaehyun is dressed, well - nice, like he always does. But it’s too nice for the weather, his shirt and jeans soaked through to the point that they’re sticking to his skin. Johnny feels something akin to unease settling over his skin, a knot forming in his stomach. He ends up carefully approaching Jaehyun, almost as if he’s worried he’ll spook the other man if he’s too direct.  </p><p>“Jaehyun, hey.” Johnny says gently, touching Jaehyun’s arm to try and get his attention. Jaehyun jumps at the contact, eyes struggling to focus as he looks up at him. Johnny tries giving him a reassuring smile, tries to hide how suddenly worried he is for the other man. </p><p>“You okay there?” He asks, trying to sound casual. </p><p>Jaehyun looks lost as he struggles to maintain eye contact with the taller man, gaze eventually drifting off somewhere over Johnny’s shoulder. </p><p>“I…” His voice sounds hoarse, as if he’s struggling to make it work. “I- I don’t know.” </p><p>Johnny watches, worried in the way he sees how Jaehyun is slowly curling in on himself. It’s almost as if he’s been wounded, though Johnny can’t see any physical marks on the other man. He reaches out to take Jaehyun’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. His skin is ice cold, Johnny nearly flinching when he first touches it. He makes sure to keep a reassuring smile on his face, though.</p><p>“How about we go somewhere warm and dry, and we can talk it out?”</p><p>Jaehyun’s nod is so miniscule that he almost misses it. Johnny keeps hold of his hand, leading him down the street and up into the elevator towards his apartment. The inviting warmth of the living room hits them as he unlocks the front door and ushers Jaehyun in, a small puddle growing quickly where he stands on the welcome mat.</p><p>“Wait here.” He instructs him, disappearing into his bedroom. </p><p>Returning with his spare towel, he encourages Jaehyun out of his shoes and sodden jacket, and helps him towel down as much as possible. Once he’s satisfied he lays the towel out on the sofa, gently directing Jaehyun to sit on it while he makes them both cups of tea. He also stops to turn the heat up, doesn’t care that the bill will probably be eye-watering this month, he’ll work overtime until he drops if it means Jaehyun will stop shivering in his still-damp clothes. He makes sure the tea is extra strong, presses a mug into Jaehyun’s hands once it’s ready. </p><p>Jaehyun’s gaze remains fixated on a spot on their rug, his grip so tight on his tea that Johnny is almost afraid the porcelain will crack. Johnny joins him on the sofa, lightly touches a hand to Jaehyun’s elbow to let him know he’s there if he needs him. Silence stretches on for what feels like hours, days even, before Jaehyun speaks up.</p><p>“Have… Have you ever noticed how all our friends are together? Like, perfectly matched up and all that?”</p><p>Johnny pauses, mulling over this. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed all the couples in their group, each one finding their soulmate as if they’d gotten some memo that Johnny, and apparently Jaehyun, had missed out on. He’s not wholly mad at it - seeing his friends happy makes him happy too, how could it now, but it does feel lonely sometimes. Feels difficult, sometimes, to keep up his unwavering positivity that if he just waits that little bit longer everything will fall into place for him. </p><p>He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Jaehyun snorts, rubbing a hand over his face roughly. </p><p>“It’s pathetic, I know.” He sighs, gazing at the wall, the look in his eyes unfocused. “I went on a date today. We’d been seeing each other a while, Taeyong introduced us. He was nice, said he didn’t care about soulmates and that, just wanted someone to be with him in the same way I wanted.”</p><p>He pauses, glancing at Johnny when the taller man places a hand on his shoulder. Johnny looks back at him expectantly, gesturing for him to continue. Jaehyun looks down at his hands instead.</p><p>“Everything seemed perfect, but then it just <i>wasn’t</i>. Today he said he couldn’t do it anymore, said- said that it wasn’t enough- that I wasn’t enough, that he didn't want to waste anymore of his time with me.” His voice catches on the last half of his sentence, sending him into silence.</p><p>Johnny feels as though his heart will break at how small Jaehyun’s voice is. He lightly tightens his grip on Jaehyun’s shoulder, rubbing what he hopes are comforting circles into the skin with his thumb while he tries to think of the right words to say (he’s not the most articulate speaker). </p><p>“Jaehyun- It sucks.” His voice is quiet but Jaehyun stills, clearly listening. “I know it feels like you’re being left behind by everyone else and I get it, I really do, it hurts like hell sometimes. But you’ve just gotta remind yourself that there’s someone out there for you and you will find them, no matter how long it takes, right? I’m sure you have your soulmate mark somewhere on your body and it’s literal proof that one day you’ll have that  one person meant for you by your side.”</p><p>Jaehyun looks less mournful but there’s something in his expression that gives away that he’s still not fully convinced. He eyes Johnny doubtfully. </p><p>“Trust me.” Johnny insists. “My mom always says the second you stop looking for something is the second it finds you. Maybe that applies here too.”</p><p>“Well.” Jaehyun croaks. Johnny pretends not to see the tears that the other man tries to hide. “Your mom doesn’t sound like a lady who’s ever wrong.”</p><p>Johnny laughs softly at that. “That’s one way of putting it.”</p><p>They fall into silence for a moment, Jaehyun’s breathing slowing back to normal. Johnny reaches over to the tissue box that sits on their coffee table and snags a few, pressing them into Jaehyun’s hands. Jaehyun mumbles something that sounds like a thank you, determinedly avoiding making eye contact.</p><p>“Besides,” Johnny says after a few beats, voice pitched low as if not to disturb the quiet of the room. “It’s not like you’re the only one who’s alone.”</p><p>Jaehyun sniffs, looking up at him. “You? But I- I thought-”</p><p>Johnny gives him a small smile. “Thought what?”</p><p>“I- Nothing.” Jaehyun shakes his head. </p><p>Johnny wants to press him a little more, curiosity getting the better of him, but decides for Jaehyun’s sake to drop the subject. Instead he pats the other man’s shoulder before getting up and making his way to the window. He tugs back the curtain, checking on the weather outside. It’s even worse than earlier, the rain heaving down while the low promise of thunder rumbles in the distance. Johnny bites his lip, glancing at Jaehyun, who looks small and kind of lost in the way he’s sitting on their sofa, staring at his feet. An idea forms in his brain, forcing its way out before he can fully mull it over.</p><p>“Do you wanna stay over?”</p><p>Jaehyun sniffs, looking up at him. “W-What?”</p><p>“It’s raining like hell out there, you’ll get soaked if you try and go home right now. Plus you said Doyoung was staying with Taeyong tonight, right? Surely you don’t wanna be alone right now.”</p><p>Jaehyun stares at him for a few beats, thoughts almost loud enough for Johnny to hear them. “I- I can’t-”</p><p>“It’s no trouble, trust me.” Johnny smiles reassuringly at him. “All I was gonna do tonight was order pizza and watch some netflix, it’s not like you’re gonna get in the way of that. It’ll be nice to have company anyway.”</p><p>Jaehyun opens his mouth, clearly wanting to continue arguing. Johnny raises an eyebrow at him in return and Jaehyun’s mouth closes with an audible snap. He’s quiet for a moment before he nods.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Johnny is relieved to have won that battle. He swipes a clean towel from the pile in Ten and Kun’s bedroom - tossing his spare that Jaehyun used to dry off into the laundry basket. He knows that Kun won’t mind him borrowing one of theirs, it’s the whole reason he bought an extra set anyways. He directs Jaehyun to their bathroom, thankful that he cleaned in there just yesterday, the smell of the pomegranate cleaner that Ten despises still lingering in the air. </p><p>“When you’re done feel free to grab anything out of my dresser to wear, it should fit you. I keep pyjamas and like, chilling stuff, in the bottom drawer.”</p><p>“Thank you Johnny.” Jaehyun vaguely looks like he might cry again, clutching the towel in his hands as if it’s a lifeline.  </p><p>Johnny simply smiles in return, gently patting the other man’s arm.</p><p>“No problem. I’ll order pizza while you’re in the shower, yeah?”</p><p>Jaehyun disappears into the bathroom after telling him he’ll eat pretty much anything that’s put on top of a pizza. Johnny still plays it safe, ordering one pepperoni and one plain cheese. He then tasks himself with cleaning around the kitchen a little bit, herding the dirty dishes into the sink as if that’ll hide them better. </p><p>He’s just taking a drink of water when he hears the door to his bedroom softly open then close again a beat later. He looks up to where Jaehyun is shuffling back into the room, sweatpants just a little too long on him, and nearly chokes.</p><p>Jaehyun is wearing one of his old volleyball jerseys, SUH 18 emblazoned in white across his back when he bends down to retrieve his phone from where he left it on the sofa. Johnny can’t help himself from letting his eyes wander. Jaehyun is tall and broad, something Johnny had observed on numerous occasions. However, he’s not as tall and broad as Johnny is, or even as tall and broad as 18 year old Johnny was, so the shirt hangs off of him a little bit. Johnny feels, quite frankly, like he’s been hit over the head with something heavy.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” Jaehyun is looking at him in concern. Johnny immediately shakes his head, forcing his brain to reboot and start working again.</p><p>“N-No everything’s fine!” He tries to hide the way he takes a deep breath, shoulders slowly relaxing. “Did you have a nice shower?”</p><p>“I did,” Jaehyun’s voice is shy in a way that goes straight to Johnny’s head. “Your shower’s much nicer than the one in my apartment.”</p><p>“It won’t surprise you to know this but Ten is incredibly picky about water pressure, every apartment viewing we went to he insisted on practically getting in the shower to test it.”</p><p>Jaehyun barks out a laugh. “I’m not surprised at all.”</p><p>The pizza arrives and they eat on the sofa, a random movie Johnny let Jaehyun pick playing on Johnny’s laptop. They’re silent but it’s a comfortable one, Jaehyun’s thigh warm in his borrowed sweatpants as it presses against Johnny’s. Their hands occasionally brush when they reach out for a slice of pizza at the same time - Johnny looks away politely so he doesn’t see the way Jaehyun’s ears turn red. Louis joins them at one point, parading around the back of the sofa before settling into Jaehyun’s lap with a happy purr. Johnny watches this in amusement, knowing Ten will be upset to learn his cat has a new favourite human. </p><p>Johnny excuses himself once they’re done eating, disappearing to have his own shower and switch his contacts out for his glasses. He misses the way Jaehyun’s eyes widen when he takes in the sight of him in his glasses, blush spreading from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. He’s tearing up their pizza boxes for recycling when Jaehyun speaks up for the first time in a while.</p><p>“This is pretty.”</p><p>“Hm?” Johnny looks up to see him standing at the whiteboard Kun insisted on buying, as if a piece of plastic could help calm the chaos of their apartment. Jaehyun’s eyes are fixated on a print stuck next to a doodle of Louis that was no doubt left by Yangyang on his last visit. “Oh, that.”</p><p>The print is nothing special - a throwaway shot from a trip Johnny took to Gyeongpo beach to photograph the ocean for a project. He’d snapped a picture of the sunset over the ocean as he left to catch his train back to Seoul, full of octopus pancake and coconut ice cream. The shot had ultimately not made it into his final project but Ten had insisted on him printing it anyway, sticking it on the whiteboard the second he could swipe it from Johnny’s files. </p><p>“You took this?” Jaehyun’s voice brings Johnny back to the present, and he looks up to see he’s looking at him now, an unreadable expression on his face.</p><p>Johnny nods in reply.</p><p>“It’s beautiful.”</p><p>“You can have it if you want.” The words are out of Johnny’s mouth before he can even think about them. </p><p>There’s a pause before Jaehyun answers him.</p><p>“I couldn’t,” Jaehyun shakes his head. “It’s too nice, it wouldn’t feel right.”</p><p>“Honestly, it’s okay,” Johnny fights to keep his tone casual. “If I was desperate to keep it I wouldn’t have offered, plus I could always print it again anyway.”</p><p>Jaehyun levels a look at him, the mark of a slight frown appearing between his eyebrows before he smiles at him in such a gentle way that Johnny’s heart hurts.</p><p>“Thank you.” He says, sincerity bleeding into every word.</p><p>“It’s no problem.” </p><p>Johnny would give Jaehyun the moon if he asked for it, would give him anything he asked for if it meant he got to see that smile even just once more.</p><p>A while later, while Jaehyun is back in the bathroom getting ready for bed, Johnny realises that there <i>is</i> a problem in his flawless plan. </p><p>The sleeping situation. </p><p>His bed is a double with more than enough room for the pair of them, but he discounts it immediately - he can’t make Jaehyun share a bed with him, especially not now. He <i>could</i> sleep in Ten and Kun’s bed while Jaehyun sleeps in his, that’s another option. He knows neither of them would particularly care, it’s even tradition they all pile into the couple’s bed with Louis to watch a movie whenever they have the chance. However, Johnny also knows that Ten likes to reset the feng shui of their bedroom before they spend the night outside of the apartment, and thus he’d rather sleep on the floor than on those unchanged bed sheets. </p><p>He settles for sleeping on the sofa instead, tossing a spare pillow and one of Ten’s beloved decorative blankets on there to make it more comfortable. </p><p>Jaehyun returns from the bathroom, smelling faintly of Johnny’s face wash and toothpaste. Johnny tries not to think about how the knowledge that the younger man now smells like him effects him, thankfully distracted by the way Jaehyun is looking at his makeshift bed. </p><p>“I’m sleeping on the sofa.” Johnny clarifies for him. </p><p>Jaehyun frowns, eyebrows knotting together. “I can’t kick you out of your bed!”</p><p>“You’re a guest,” Johnny retorts, fighting to not be distracted by the way Jaehyun’s frown is rapidly turning into a pout. “I can’t make you sleep on the sofa, that’s being a bad host.” </p><p>Jaehyun stares back at him, the set of his jaw determined, crossing his arms over his chest. Johnny finds himself staring at the way his shirt clings, showing off the well-defined chest that he has not seen since that mess of a night at the bar. He’s so distracted he doesn’t hear Jaehyun’s reply until the end of his sentence. </p><p>“Ngh?”</p><p>“I said I know I’m a guest but I refuse to let you sleep on the sofa and that’s it.”</p><p>Johnny sighs.</p><p>“Well what else are we gonna do?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun’s breathing is soft and even in the darkness of Johnny’s bedroom. Johnny tries not to be hyper aware of the fact that the other man is lying next to him, within arm’s reach if he gave into his instincts to reach out for him. </p><p>“Are you awake?” Jaehyun asks him quietly, as if Johnny could ever manage to fall asleep with the other beside him.</p><p>“Yeah.” Johnny shuffles around, rolling over to look at Jaehyun. “You okay?”</p><p>“Mmm.” Jaehyun mimics Johnny, moving so they’re facing each other. The moonlight peeking in through the curtains illuminates his pale skin, making him look as though he’s made of marble, each feature painstakingly and lovingly carved out. He’s quiet for a moment before he blurts out: “What do you want your soulmate to be like?”</p><p><i>Like you</i> is what Johnny wants to say. Instead he lies. </p><p>“I haven’t really thought about it I guess? Someone that likes my dumb jokes, that’s probably the most important one. Oh and hopefully they’re not too short, I hope destiny or whatever it is thought of my poor back.”</p><p>That makes Jaehyun laugh, chest shaking and disturbing the blanket where he’d pulled up to his shoulders. Johnny doesn’t even think before he’s pulling it back up for him, tucking it under him so it’ll stay put. </p><p>“What about you?” He asks Jaehyun. </p><p>“Someone…” Jaehyun scrunches his nose up in concentration as he thinks over his words. “Someone warm and loving, who makes me laugh but also knows when I need them to be there and pull me out of whatever fog I find myself falling into.” He picks at a loose thread on Johnny’s top sheet. “Someone who, at the end of the day, will always be there for me no matter what.” </p><p>Johnny thinks of the way he has Jaehyun’s coffee orders memorised so he could bring him one for their 8am starts. Thinks of the way he knows Jaehyun is so busy on Fridays that Johnny needs to text him a reminder to eat lunch because he will forget otherwise, of the way he’s started carrying an extra hoodie in his backpack in case the younger man gets cold. Johnny watches Jaehyun as he speaks, bites his lip to stop him from blurting out that <i>he</i> could be all of that for him if he’d only just <i>ask</i>. </p><p>“It’s probably way too unrealistic though.” Jaehyun laughs humourlessly, the sound a little self-conscious. </p><p>“Nah, I don’t think that’s unrealistic.” Johnny fights to keep his voice even. “You just want an ordinary human being that you know loves you.” </p><p>At some point they’d both moved, shuffling unconsciously towards each other. The space between them feels impossibly small, and yet vast at the same time. Johnny’s heart is beating so hard that he’s almost positive Jaehyun can probably hear it - maybe even feel it against the mattress. He’s glad it’s dark enough that his face is in shadow, certain that his cheeks are almost on the verge of glowing they’re so red. For a fleeting moment Jaehyun moves forward in a way that has Johnny holding his breath, thinking Jaehyun is going to kiss him. Instead Jaehyun just pats him on the shoulder, snuggling further down into the mattress. </p><p>“Goodnight Johnny. Thanks for looking out for me tonight”</p><p>Johnny lets out the breath he’d been holding, trying to convince himself that that’s the reason why his chest is aching. </p><p>“Night, Jaehyun.”</p>
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</div><p>“You like him, don’t you?” Ten observes, placing another few pieces of pork onto the barbecue. </p><p>“Huh?” Is Johnny’s only response, startled out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Jaehyun, he means Jaehyun.” Kun supplies helpfully, eyes soft as he watches Ten attempt to scrape a charred piece of meat off of the metal. </p><p>Johnny squints at them.  </p><p>“Is this an intervention?”</p><p>Ten snorts. “No, but you’re getting to the point where you need one.”</p><p>Johnny had woken that morning feeling strangely peaceful, the pale light of the morning sun coming in through the slight gap in his curtains. Jaehyun had been curled up close to him, one hand over his face, the other lightly gripping at Johnny’s shirt. His head had been pillowed on Johnny’s chest, one of Johnny’s arms draped over his side with his hand resting on his lower back. It had felt like they were made to fit together, like Jaehyun was the missing puzzle piece he’d been looking for all this time. But Johnny knew that already. </p><p>He’d been gently running his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair, his touch almost reverent, when Jaehyun stirred. He’d watched, an ache in his chest as Jaehyun stretched a little, unfurling himself like an oversized house cat as he blinked awake. </p><p>“Morning.” Johnny had fought to keep the tone of his voice casual. “Sleep well?”</p><p>“Ngh?” Jaehyun had blinked at him, rubbing his eyes. Johnny smiled as Jaehyun frowned to himself, burrowing his face into Johnny’s chest to escape the sunlight shining in his eyes. He’d never felt this at peace.</p><p>The calm was soon shattered though when Jaehyun, having taken in the way they were curled around each other, had pushed himself away. The action was so sudden it had him almost falling off of the bed, would have done if Johnny hadn’t reached out and grabbed him at the last second. </p><p>“Careful!” He’d warned, letting go of Jaehyun as the other man sat up as soon as he was back on the bed.</p><p>“‘M’ sorry.” Had been Jaehyun’s mumbled reply as he’d left Johnny’s bedroom, stumbling a little in his too-long sweatpants. The silence in the room had been deafening, Johnny scrambling out of bed to move into the living room in an effort to try and escape it.</p><p>Jaehyun had disappeared into the bathroom, then emerged fully dressed in the clothes he’d been in when Johnny found him the night before. Johnny had watched him gather up the rest of his things, eyes focused on a damp spot on his back that hadn’t quite managed to dry overnight. His brain, still foggy from sleep, had struggled to catch up with what he was seeing in front of him. </p><p>“Bye,” Jaehyun said in a shy, small voice, almost drowned out by the sound of Johnny’s beating heart as it thundered in his ears. “Thanks for everything again.” Then he was gone.</p><p>It’s overdramatic, but it feels like Jaehyun took something with him when he left. Johnny feels strangely empty for the rest of the morning, like there’s a hole where his heart used to be. Ten and Kun had returned to the apartment in the early afternoon to find him laid face down on the sofa, netflix’s ‘still watching?’ screen glaring at him from his laptop. He’d missed the silent glance the couple shared with one another, Ten gently patting him on the ass as he’d wandered past on his way to the shower. </p><p>“Wanna talk about it?” Kun had asked, sitting on the floor next to Johnny’s head. </p><p>“Nah,” Had been Johnny’s muffled reply. “It’s nothing.”</p><p>Kun had clearly not believed him because, following a whispered conversation after Ten had emerged from the bathroom, Johnny had found himself at lunch with the pair of them. </p><p>“You’re like a lovesick puppy,” Ten tells him. “It’s been building up ever since you first met him and now it’s starting to get a little pathetic.”</p><p>“What he means is,” Kun interjects immediately, shooting Ten a warning look. “We’re starting to worry a little. This is clearly constantly playing on your mind, and talking about it could do you some good.”</p><p>Johnny sighs, running his hands through his hair.</p><p>“No, Ten is right, it is kinda pathetic. I don’t know what it is about him, I’ve never felt like this about someone before.”</p><p>“Have you thought about, you know, just being a grown up and using your words? Telling him how you feel?” Ten snarks.</p><p>Johnny snorts, raising an eyebrow at his best friend. “Funny coming from you who agonised for months about telling Kun exactly how you wanted to tear his clothes off.” </p><p>Kun’s cheeks flush red but Ten is not to be deterred. </p><p>“And who was the one who told me to get over myself and get on with it?” Ten jabs a chopstick at him accusingly. “Who was the one who told me to stop sulking around the dorm and just ask him out already?”</p><p>“Me, but-”</p><p>“But what? I’m just repaying the favour.” </p><p>Johnny sighs in frustration. Kun looks between his two friends, trying and failing to hide his amusement. </p><p>“Kun and you are soulmates though, it’s different.”</p><p>“Did I know we were soulmates at the beginning? No, I didn’t, otherwise I’d have pounced a hell of a lot faster instead of spending nearly a year pining like some lovesick fool.” He levels a look at Johnny. “Like you are right now.”</p><p>“I’m not-!”</p><p>Ten turns to Kun, cutting him off. “Babe, back me up.”</p><p>“I’m not backing you up, I’m going to give my own advice.” Ever the calm presence in their trio, Kun pauses to distribute more food between the three of them. He piles extra into Johnny’s bowl, cautious of the way he hasn’t touched anything since they first sat down. </p><p>Ten sighs, placated by Kun’s calm demeanor. Johnny drums his fingers on the table in time to the music playing in the restaurant, anxiety still tightly knotted somewhere deep in his stomach.</p><p>When Kun speaks again his tone is soothing, clearly aware of the way that Johnny is bristling more and more as the minutes tick by. “What exactly is putting you off telling him?” </p><p>“Apart from the fact that he’s clearly not interested?” Johnny tries for humour, winces a little when it falls flat. He sighs. “At first I didn’t want to spook him off, I was kinda in denial about the whole <i>liking him</i> thing because I just wanted to be friends with him. That night out we all had-” He glares when Ten snorts, cutting him off. “- Made me realise that there was definitely <i>something</i> there between us. Last night proved it even more, but now....” </p><p>He thinks back to the way Jaehyun had moved away from him that morning, as if he’d been burnt. </p><p>Kun gently squeezes his hand. “But now?”</p><p>Johnny’s voice is pathetically small. “Now I just don’t know.”</p><p>“I think you should just tell him.” Kun says, as if it’s that simple. Johnny supposes it is. “Get him alone after class or something and go for it, you might be surprised.”</p><p>Johnny meets his eyes, trying not to sound overly hopeful. “You think?”</p><p>“The worst thing he can do is say he doesn’t like you that way, right?”</p><p>Johnny nods in agreement, finally finding his appetite and starting to eat. “Right.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div><p>Things don’t really go to plan, however. </p><p>Johnny goes to his next literature lecture, determined that he and Jaehyun are going to actually talk about this. His hopes are immediately shattered though: Jaehyun doesn’t show up to class. He barely shows up for the final few lectures of the semester - when he does he ducks in at the very last second, once he’s sure Johnny will already be caged in by other students. Johnny’s texts go unanswered, probably unopened too if he’s being honest with himself. </p><p>He feels… empty is the only word for it. And strangely pitied. Doyoung shoots him a sympathetic look every time he sees him, clearly having cottoned on that something had happened between him and Jaehyun. Ten quits teasing him about his crush, instead diverting the subject to literally anything else whenever it feels like Jaehyun is going to crop up in conversation. Yuta texts him with a <i>yo, i’m here if you need to talk or anything</i>. Johnny isn’t sure if talking is what he wants - what he really wants is Jaehyun back, if he’s being blunt, but that doesn’t seem to be an option anymore. </p><p>It’s been a few weeks now. Mark fixes him with a sympathetic look, battling to open a new bottle of chocolate syrup. </p><p>“You good bro?”</p><p>“Yeah, just a bit tired. Finals and all that.”</p><p>“Mmm, I think it’s something a bit more than that,” Mark hums along to the Twice song playing over the loudspeakers of the cafe, non-confrontational as always. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you dude.”</p><p>Johnny sighs softly, shoulders slumping a little in defeat. It’s a little depressing really, knowing that he’s pining that visibly that even Mark has picked up on it. Mark, who could easily have ‘socially oblivious’ as his middle name and it wouldn’t be out of place.</p><p>“I just feel ignored.” Is Johnny’s eventual reply. He knows he doesn’t have to specify what or even <i>who</i> he’s talking about, his situation familiar enough to all of his friends that they automatically know.</p><p>“It’s not just you.” Mark finally hands him the stubborn bottle of syrup, frowning a little when Johnny easily twists the cap off with the slightest flick of his wrist. “It sounds like he’s been avoiding everyone. I invited him to the arcade with me and Yuta the other day and he turned it down. Doyoung said he’s barely coming out of his room, and you know if Doyoung’s saying that it means something.”</p><p>Johnny doesn’t answer for a few minutes, tasking himself with making the most elaborate frappuccino he can manage. He hands the finished drink, cup emblazoned with a large <b>MARKIE</b> ❤️ to his friend, turning to wipe the counter down to continue keeping his hands busy. When Mark keeps watching him in expectation, he sighs defeatedly.</p><p>“He’s still talking to you guys though, right? It’s literally like I never existed to him.”</p><p>Mark makes a little noise of acknowledgement. </p><p>“I guess, but I’ve also known him longer than you have? Doyoung is his roommate, he’s gonna go to people he knows better, like how you’re always telling Ten and Kun everything. I know it sucks but people are always automatically drawn to people they know best, after all.”</p><p>Johnny shrugs. He knows Mark is being logical but it doesn’t do anything to soothe the sting he feels at being dropped. Mark simply pats him on the back like he always does when he’s trying to comfort someone.</p><p>“You’ll get through it big guy, I know you will.”</p><p>“Thanks Markie, you’re the best.” </p><p>Mark rolls his eyes at the nickname, finally tasting the concoction in his hand. He immediately pulls such a face of visceral disgust that it has Johnny wheezing with laughter, doubled over. </p><p>“Dude - caramel, strawberry and pumpkin spice? You should be locked up for that.” The venom in his voice is ruined by the way he’s already laughing too, most likely at Johnny’s reaction. Johnny finds himself leaning against the counter, sliding down until he’s sat on the floor, still chuckling away. Mark watches, trying to get his own giggling under control.</p><p>“Just give him time yeah? No-one knows what’s going on inside that guy’s head anyway.”</p><p>“That’s rich, coming from you.” Johnny laughs as he ducks to avoid the glob of whipped cream Mark tosses his way.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>“I’m dying.” Ten groans, flopping back dramatically onto the sofa. “I’m dying, this is the end, make sure I have an open casket funeral so everyone can see my beautiful face one more time before it’s lowered into the ground.”</p><p>“For the last time,” Kun groans, exasperated. “It’s just finals, you’re going to do fine.”</p><p>“I know that!” Ten snaps back. “But I’ll die of boredom first!”</p><p>Johnny, so used to the couple’s bickering that he knows this means nothing, mostly tunes them out as he works on his final project for his photography class. </p><p>It’s mind-numbingly boring work, endless hours of cropping and positioning photos until they all blur into one big mess of city lights and night skies. It’s so dull he can’t stop his thoughts from wandering, wondering what Jaehyun would have thought of these photos. Wonders if he’d have looked at them in the same way he did at the sunset print, whose absence from their noticeboard still glares at him from across the room. Maybe he could’ve even taken Jaehyun with him on his shoot, could’ve captured the way the starlight would’ve reflected in those deep brown eyes. </p><p>Ten sitting back up suddenly pulls him out of his daydream, the movement the fastest he’s seen his roommate move in hours. He slides his headphones down around his neck so he can hear the conversation better.</p><p>“We should have a party. No - we’re <i>going</i> to have a party.” Ten declares to the other two in the room.</p><p>Kun shoots Johnny a concerned look before flickering his eyes back to Ten.</p><p>“We all have exams; Johnny hasn’t finished that massive project yet either, Ten-”</p><p>“I don’t mean <i>now</i>,” Ten rolls his eyes, as if it’s Kun’s fault he can’t read his soulmate’s mind. “After everything is done, we throw a massive party and get wasted.”</p><p>“Wasted sounds dangerous.” Kun replies at the same time as Johnny says “Wasted sounds fun.” Ten laughs in triumph as Kun shoots the oldest flatmate a look that’s normally reserved just for his boyfriend.</p><p>“Sounds like someone’s outnumbered.”</p><p>“Louis would agree with me if he was here.” </p><p>“No way,” Ten shakes his head. “We took that personality test, Louis is an enfp, he’d love to party.” </p><p>“You- You did what?” Kun looks at Johnny in accusation. Johnny simply holds his hands up in defeat: he and Ten were both bored to tears, it made sense at the time. “I can’t believe you two sometimes, how were you <i>that</i> bored?”</p><p>“It just goes to show you that maybe a party is exactly what we need then.” Ten gets up, padding over to tightly wrap his arms around his boyfriend. “We’ll keep it small, just the inner circle, I promise it won’t get too wild.”</p><p>Kun looks up at him, reaching out to touch his cheek in a way that has Johnny looking back at his laptop screen. “You have to warn the neighbours. And I mean it when I say only after finals are done.”</p><p>Ten snorts, pinching Kun’s nose. “I get it dad, don’t worry.”</p><p>Johnny pulls a face. “Kinks outside of communal areas, I <i>beg</i> you.” </p><p>“He wishes.” Is Ten’s only reply as he settles back to poring over his books.</p><p>Kun simply groans, letting his head fall into his hands.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>Time feels like it’s dragging on, the heat of the afternoon making Johnny’s body feel ten times heavier than it is. He’s not exactly mad at having to work, it makes a nice break from the endless studying he’s been doing for the past week or so, but the weather is threatening to make it unbearable. The ac is on full blast in the cafe, he can feel it as it gently ruffles through his hair, but his shirt is still sticking to him as he suffers through his shift. </p><p>He’s stocking the sandwich display, basking in the blast of cool air the refrigeration gives him, when he hears the door swing open. </p><p>“Sorry, be with you in a second!” Johnny sticks his head over the counter to address whoever just came in. “I just-” He stops, he stares.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Jaehyun’s face is carefully blank, determined to not give anything away. “Take your time.”</p><p>Johnny stares for a second more before nodding, ducking back down under the counter in an attempt to collect his thoughts. </p><p>It’s been a long while since he last saw Jaehyun. Probably at least a month if he’s counting the few times he’d caught a glimpse of him in the library or in the hallways. He’d pretty much come to accept that the other man had scrubbed Johnny from his memory, moved on completely. So why would he be here now? Johnny shoves another chicken wrap onto the shelf, frowning. He’s probably getting ahead of himself, Jaehyun can’t be here for <i>him</i> after all. It’ll be the cheap coffee he’s for - he more than likely expected Mark to be working. </p><p>Johnny sighs to himself wearily before forcing a polite smile back onto his face and straightening up to his full height. </p><p>“Sorry about that!” He reaches for a cup, already writing Jaehyun’s name on it. “What can I get you - the usual?”</p><p>Jaehyun fidgets. “Um, I- I actually came here to talk to you.”</p><p>“Oh.” Johnny pauses, <i>Jae</i> already scrawled on the cup he’s holding. No smiley face though, Jaehyun lost the rights to that. “About anything in particular?”</p><p>He almost feels guilty when he sees Jaehyun wince at the forced casualness of his tone. It hurts him too to be honest, he’s so used to letting the general affection he’d had for the other man bleed into the way he spoke to him. </p><p>“I- I’m-” Jaehyun sighs in frustration, pressing his hand to his forehead, clearly struggling to articulate his thoughts. </p><p>Johnny wants to be mad, but he’s not that kind of guy, never has been. He just feels bad for Jaehyun, sees the way he’s squirming under the clinical lighting of the coffee shop, as if there’s a spotlight over his head. There’s shadows under his eyes that suggest Jaehyun hasn’t slept in a while. Johnny takes pity, decides to help him out. </p><p>“Hey… My shift ends in like 15 minutes, if you wanna just wait it out so we can talk then? Might be easier for you that way.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s face twists, his expression an odd mix of relief and shame. His voice is small when he replies with “Okay.” </p><p>Johnny watches him shuffle off, head hanging in an almost cartoonish display of distress. It’s almost eerily quiet in the cafe, the majority of their customers having finished and gone home for the summer, so he’s left with a lack of things to keep him busy from his thoughts until the end of his shift. He ends up rearranging the coffee blends by the colour of their packaging, something he’s sure Mark will appreciate whenever he’s next in. </p><p>Kun arrives to take over, eyeing Jaehyun curiously as he walks past. Johnny just smiles at him as he discards his apron and grabs his stuff from his locker. Kun rolls his eyes, still managing to look fond as he does so. </p><p>“Tell us both about it later.”</p><p>“I will.” Johnny promises. He quickly makes up two iced americanos, then heads over to where Jaehyun is sat by the window. The other man is frowning at his reflection as if personally offended by it, so absorbed that he jolts a little when Johnny places a cup in front of him. </p><p>“Sorry.” Johnny offers. Jaehyun shakes his head at him.</p><p>“It’s fine, I was just deep in thought.”</p><p>“Kinda dangerous.” Johnny comments as he slides into the seat next to him. “So, what’s up?”</p><p>Jaehyun sighs, turning to look back out the window for a moment, clearly gathering his thoughts. Johnny allows him this, fiddling with the paper wrapper from his straw to try and keep his thoughts from racing. It doesn’t really work, can feel tension bleeding into every part of his body as he waits.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun’s voice pulls him back into reality.</p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for-” Jaehyun gestures vaguely with one hand. “Well, everything really.”</p><p>Johnny raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to elaborate. Yes, he’s completely whipped for Jaehyun, knows it's obvious and has long recognised this within himself, but he also likes to think he has enough dignity that he won’t go crawling back after getting the slightest bit of acknowledgement.  </p><p>Jaehyun squirms a little, clearly uncomfortable under the weight of Johnny’s unimpressed gaze. He takes a long sip of his drink, smacking his lips together before continuing quietly.</p><p>“It was wrong to suddenly ghost you. I-  We woke up that morning like that and I just-” He makes a little noise of frustration. “God I’m so bad at this, I guess I panicked? You were so nice to me I worried you’d think I was taking advantage of you or something. I should’ve texted you back at <i>least</i> but every time I saw you or even thought of you I freaked out even more.” </p><p>Jaehyun takes another sip of his drink before he continues. “I don’t deserve it but I hope you still want to be friends. I completely get it if you never want to see me again but I- I missed you Johnny, I really did. I didn’t realise how much I enjoyed having you in my life until you suddenly weren’t there anymore, which is all my fault.” Jaehyun’s cheeks are coloured pink now. “Please forgive me if you can.”</p><p>There’s a few moments of silence before Johnny speaks.</p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>Jaehyun squints at him. </p><p>“Okay? That’s it?” </p><p>Johnny grins at him. “What were you expecting?”</p><p>“I don’t know- Anger?” Jaehyun is frowning at him, that cute little line between his eyebrows back. Johnny wonders when he became so whipped that even a frown line is endearing to him. “For you to make me beg to let me be your friend again? I’d have been way more upset if I was you.”</p><p>Johnny smiles warmly at him, chancing reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “You should know I’m not the type of guy who holds grudges.”</p><p>He feels the way Jaehyun relaxes under his touch, shoulders sagging as if a huge weight has been lifted off of them. Johnny supposes it has, wonders if Jaehyun has been agonising over this for days now, again observes the way the other man looks exhausted.  </p><p>They end up getting another round of coffees which Jaehyun insists on paying for.</p><p>(“Dude I literally get them for free while I’m on shift, you don’t have to pay.”</p><p>“I don’t care, it’s literally the least I could do, I’ve been a dick to you this past month and a bit.”)</p><p>They catch up on what they’ve missed in each other’s lives - Jaehyun sheepishly tells him the most exciting thing he’s done is watch a new series on netflix (Johnny isn’t much better, has only really found a new game that he and Yangyang play online together). Mark stops by at one point, beaming when he sees the way they’re sitting together, and sits with them for a half hour while he waits for Yuta to be done with a class. Johnny teases him for it, Jaehyun joins in, they bounce off of each other effortlessly in a way that has Mark groaning in embarrassment. </p><p>Jaehyun checks his phone what must be a few hours after he first arrived. “Ah, I have to go, I have a boxing class at the gym soon and I need to stop by home first.” </p><p>“That’s fine, I’ll walk out with you.” </p><p>Johnny waves at Kun as they leave. His roommate looks up from his phone where he’s no doubt been texting Ten about the situation, waves back at them with a grin on his face. Johnny resigns himself to the fact that he’ll probably be interrogated the second he gets home, can’t really bring himself to care if he’s being honest. </p><p>It’s quiet outside as they exit the cafe, the sun hanging low in the sky. Johnny watches as Jaehyun closes his eyes, making a quietly pleased noise as the lingering warmth of the day hits his skin. The pink light of the sunset bathes him in a gentle glow, highlighting the colour of his hair - if Johnny squints it almost looks like he’s wearing a halo. Johnny’s gaze is soft as he looks at him, the dull ache in his heart that only seems to appear when Jaehyun is nearby returning to him once again. If he’s being totally honest with himself, it never truly left anyway. </p><p>They walk together to the end of the street - Johnny knows that Jaehyun’s apartment is the opposite way to his, having visited Doyoung there a handful of times. Jaehyun’s steps slow on their approach, Johnny having to reduce his pace pretty drastically so he doesn’t leave the other man behind. He knows it’s probably wishful thinking on his part, but it almost seems like Jaehyun doesn’t want to leave him. </p><p>By the time they reach the turning, they’ve slowed completely to a stop, Jaehyun rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he avoids making eye contact. It’s slightly awkward, almost the way it was when they first met, but Johnny knows now that the best way to combat this is just to be direct. So he is.</p><p>“Hey.” Jaehyun stills, eyes darting to him. His teeth let go of his lip where they’d been biting at it in the way they always seem to. “We’re having a party to celebrate the end of finals next week,” Johnny takes a sip of the last of his drink, stalling to give himself time to stamp down his nerves. “Do you wanna come?”</p><p>Jaehyun looks surprised at the invite. “Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, why not? You don’t have to if you really don’t want to, but it’d be nice to have you there.” Johnny keeps his tone light, giving Jaehyun an out if he wants to take it. “Literally all of our friends will be there, and you don’t have to stop all night if you want-”</p><p>Jaehyun cuts off his rambling. “I’ll come.”</p><p>It’s Johnny’s turn to be surprised, he’d expected a polite refusal. “Really?” </p><p>“Yeah.” Jaehyun smiles at him, the first one to reach his eyes since Johnny had laid eyes on him today. “Partying with you sounds fun.”</p><p>Johnny releases a breath he wasn’t even aware he’d been holding.</p><p>“Cool. Cool cool, very cool.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s smile doesn’t fade as he nods along with Johnny’s words. Hope is blossoming quickly in Johnny’s chest, rising so quickly it’s almost threatening to choke him. </p><p>“I’ll see you then?”</p><p>“Maybe even before,” Jaehyun’s words are laced with promise. “We could study together if you have the time?”</p><p>Johnny returns his smile, almost certain that the look in his eyes is one of pure tenderness. </p><p>“I’d love that.”</p>
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</div><p>It feels like he’s walking on cloud nine recently. </p><p>His finals are an absolute breeze, his urban photography professor emailing him to praise his final project before she’s even finished formally marking it. The manager at work puts him on a full paid vacation with a bonus as a thank you for all the overtime he’s done throughout the year. Johnny blows the bonus on a brand new camera: a Sony A7 II that he breaks in with a spontaneous 2am photoshoot with Jaehyun, the rainy city serving as a perfect backdrop for the other man’s beauty. </p><p>Jaehyun who, most importantly of all, is now a permanent fixture in his life once again. They’re speaking to each other even more regularly than before. Johnny notes this as he opens yet another text from the younger man, this time a meme that he’s probably grabbed off of twitter. It’s not particularly funny but Johnny knows that Jaehyun will have found it hilarious, and he can’t help but be touched that Jaehyun thinks he would enjoy it too. </p><p>One night Jaehyun even shows up on Johnny’s doorstep, 7/11 bag heaving with Johnny’s favourite snacks. He can’t quite ever remember telling Jaehyun about what chips he likes, but he’s not going to turn him away, not with the way Jaehyun is looking at him in excitement. They spend the night viciously battling each other in Mario Kart, Jaehyun playing dirty wherever possible to fulfil his ferocious competitive streak. They give in when their scores are even, legs probably bruised from the way they’ve been kicking at each other, instead settling on luring Mark online so they can gang up on him together. Jaehyun spends the night accidentally when they pass out on the sofa together - in the morning they get breakfast and coffee. </p><p>Doyoung’s eyes practically sparkle when he’s caught up with the latest Johnny-Jaehyun news. Mark is thrilled, even though it does mean that the pair gang up on him whenever they meet for a basketball game. Johnny always buys him ice cream afterwards as an apology - besides, Yuta now also joins them more often than not, so it’s not like Mark is completely outnumbered. Ten scoffs when Johnny tells him he and Jaehyun are speaking again, but he also invites Jaehyun to their weekly board game nights so Johnny knows he forgives him. </p><p>His mom is delighted when he finally tells her about his friend, demands to speak to Jaehyun as soon as she can. </p><p>“I’m glad you’ve found someone this special to you, Youngho.” She tells him over the choppy connection of a Skype call.</p><p>Johnny pauses. Jaehyun <i>is</i> incredibly special to him, but also he knows what his mom is alluding to. Johnny knows that they’re inseparable at the moment, but he also acknowledges that this won’t last forever, that Jaehyun’s soulmate will finally explode into their lives and take Jaehyun away from Johnny. It’s an unpleasant truth he has to come to terms with, but it’s not something he wants to think about right now, not while things are so good between them. He doesn’t have the heart to tell his mom that he’s pretty sure that she’s wrong, Jaehyun won't always be his, decides that he’ll instead let her down gently at another time.</p><p>He needs to convince himself of it first, anyway.</p>
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</div><p>Ten bounds up to him late in the night, face flushed with the tell-tale signs that he’s already full of too much alcohol. </p><p>“Johnny!” His voice is a little too loud, startling a nearby Taeyong so much he almost slides off of Doyoung’s lap. Johnny bites back a laugh at the offended look on Taeyong’s face, and when he turns back to Ten his roommate’s face is also a picture of barely suppressed mirth. </p><p>“What?” Johnny asks him, already getting a feeling he knows what Ten is about to ask him.</p><p>“We’re out of soju, can you go get some more? You’re the most capable of all of us right now.”</p><p>Johnny groans. “It looks like it’s gonna rain, why can’t Kun go? I did the last alcohol run!”</p><p>“I’d much rather sacrifice you to the weather than him, no-one else puts my towel on the radiator before I shower like he does.”</p><p>Johnny sighs defeatedly. He wants to argue more but he knows it’ll make his life much easier if he just sucks it up and goes. Ten beams at him, leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek.</p><p>“You’re the best - pick up some extra beers too, we can play beer pong when you get back.”</p><p>“Anything else, your majesty?” Ten rolls his eyes at the quip. </p><p>“No dear subject, that’s all I require of you.” </p><p>Johnny’s pulling his shoes on when he feels a presence at his side. He glances up to find Jaehyun watching him, playing with the overly long sleeves of his button up. He smiles up at him.</p><p>“You good?”</p><p>Jaehyun nods. “Leaving your own party already?”</p><p>“Unfortunately.” He chuckles, back up to his full height. Jaehyun follows his movement, craning his head up a little bit so he can keep looking Johnny in the eyes. “Ten’s sending me on an alcohol run, and I can’t refuse if I ever want peace in my life again.”</p><p>“Can I come?” Jaehyun is already reaching for where he’d ditched his combat boots with the mess of Johnny’s shoes. He looks particularly good tonight, embroidered jeans and striped t-shirt hugging his body in a way that’s had Johnny struggling to keep his eyes to himself ever since Jaehyun had first arrived at his apartment that evening. </p><p>“You sure? It’s probably gonna rain, don’t wanna get your pretty hair wet.” </p><p>Jaehyun grins at him, twirling a strand around his finger. “You think it’s pretty?”</p><p>Johnny blushes a little - that part was supposed to stay inside his head - but he forces himself to hold Jaehyun’s stare as he leans up to gently tug at a curl himself. </p><p>“Very pretty.”</p><p>Jaehyun stays glued to his side as he directs them to a store he swears sells the cheapest soju in all of Seoul. It’s a big boast but Johnny feels inclined to believe him. Their hands brush against each other occasionally, Johnny flexing his fingers each time in an attempt to stop himself from reaching out to hold Jaehyun’s hand. Jaehyun, quietly emboldened by the decent amount of alcohol in his veins, does the opposite. The next time it happens he catches hold of Johnny’s hand, lacing their fingers together as if it’s the most casual thing in the world for him to do. Startled, Johnny looks at him for clarification, but Jaehyun deliberately avoids looking him in the eye. Johnny squints, giving the younger man’s hand a tight squeeze that just gets him a cheeky grin in reply. He shakes his head - apparently Jung Jaehyun intends to be the death of him tonight. </p><p>Jaehyun is right about the store - <i>told you</i> is his smug reply when Johnny comments on it - the soju so cheap they practically raid the entire supply of it. Johnny gets his revenge on Ten by picking up the one beer brand he hates for beer pong, knows how much his roommate sucks at beer pong and is excited to see him suffer. </p><p>It’s raining steadily when they exit the store, weighed down with bags. It’s impossible for Jaehyun to grab his hand again so he seems to settle for linking their pinky fingers together, swinging their hands between them as they walk. They’re back outside the apartment building, Johnny struggling to find his keycard in his pocket when he realises Jaehyun isn’t by his side anymore. Looking back out at the street he sees him standing there, head leant back as he watches the rain fall from the sky.</p><p>“You good there?” He calls over to him. </p><p>“Mmm,” Jaehyun hums in reply, opening his eyes to look at him. Johnny’s eyes roam over his face - Jaehyun really is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Sometimes Johnny wonders if this is all an elaborate dream, if Jaehyun is just someone his poor hopeless-romantic brain dreamed up for him to help him combat the dreariness of everyday life. </p><p>“Johnny?” Jaehyun is looking at him now, the atmosphere so full of electricity Johnny can almost feel it in the way the hair on the back of his neck stands on end. Ditching his bags by the front door, Johnny finds himself stepping forward, closing the distance between them easily with a few steps. </p><p>“Johnny.” Jaehyun repeats, head tilted to look up at him. Masterpieces could be written from the sheer amount of devotion swimming in his eyes - it takes Johnny’s breath away as he gazes into them. </p><p>Johnny realises now that he loves the way Jaehyun says his name, loves the way he always drags out the syllables as if he’s savouring them. Jaehyun’s hair is plastered to his forehead - it’ll be even curlier when it dries out, irresistibly soft, just the way that Johnny likes it. He watches the way Jaehyun’s gaze slides down his face to fixate on his lips, the way he hesitates, head tilting forward so slowly as if he’s afraid Johnny will rip himself away.  </p><p>Johnny leans down and kisses him, kisses him the way he’s been wanting to for months now. He moves one hand to Jaehyun’s waist so he can hold him close to his body, the heat of their bodies combating the cool mist of the rain. Jaehyun kisses him back almost feverishly, dropping his bags to wrap his arms around Johnny’s neck and pull him so close that there’s barely an inch between them. It’s almost amazing the way they fit together perfectly, as if they were made for each other, as if Johnny’s lips were made with the sole purpose of kissing Jaehyun in mind.</p><p>When his lungs start screaming for air Johnny pulls away, breaking the kiss. He immediately presses his forehead to Jaehyun’s, their noses brushing against each other. They’re both pretty soaked through but Johnny couldn’t care less. He’s having dejavu in the best way, because this time instead of crying Jaehyun is looking at him as if he’s his whole world and universe condensed down into one person. He moves, leaning down to kiss Jaehyun’s forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose - anywhere he can get to while Jaehyun laughs breathlessly at the sensation. Slightly stunned laughter is all Johnny can muster as well, finishing off his journey with another gentle press to Jaehyun’s now kiss-swollen lips.</p><p>He lightly touches the oversized earring hanging down from Jaehyun’s left ear. “I like this.”</p><p>“I like you.” Is Jaehyun’s earnest reply. Johnny laughs, can’t fault his honesty.</p><p>“I like you too.” </p><p> </p><p>“<i>Finally</i>.” Is all that Ten says when they return to the apartment. Johnny doesn’t know whether he’s referring to the (thankfully still intact) bottles they hand over, or the way that Jaehyun is clinging onto his hand like the world will end if he lets go. </p>
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</div><p>The party goes as all of their gatherings tend to. Beer pong is a furious competition, insults hurled back and forth until Taeil absolutely destroys them all with just one shot. When they gather around the coffee table to play drinking games, Jungwoo having to shout over the noise so his instructions will be heard, Jaehyun happily plants himself in Johnny’s lap and refuses to move for the rest of the night. Everyone teases them, Taeyong even managing to sneak a photo onto instagram so everyone in their wider circle of friends knows. It’s easy to ignore them though, especially when Jaehyun keeps periodically turning around to beam at Johnny as if he’s the only other person in the room, leaning up to kiss him whenever he gets the chance. </p><p>The party crawls to a finish at some point in the early hours of the morning, not long after Kun hauls an almost-passed out Ten off to bed bridal-style. Everyone else trickles out soon after, leaving Jaehyun as the only one left. Johnny doesn’t even bother to ask if he’s staying over, just tosses some spare clothes at him after dropping a kiss onto the top of his head. </p><p>He disappears into the bathroom so Jaehyun can change in privacy. His brain feels a little fuzzy, a similar sensation settling over his skin in a way that has him keyed up and restless. He can’t decide if it’s from the alcohol or the general events of the entire evening. He splashes some cold water on his face in an attempt to chase the cloudiness away. </p><p>Johnny walks back into his room, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He shuts his door behind him to block out the noise of Ten’s loud snoring coming from his and Kun’s bedroom.  </p><p>“I can’t believe he still insists on drinking that much when he knows he’s a lightweight, he’s such a disaster - right, Jaehyun?” When he’s met with nothing but silence, he turns to look at the bed. “Jaehyun?”</p><p>Jaehyun is staring at his hip like he’s been hypnotised. </p><p>Johnny smirks at him, running a finger over the defined muscles of his hip bones. “Like what you see?”</p><p>Jaehyun doesn’t answer him, instead moving to kneel on the bed, slightly unsteady as he bounces on the mattress. Johnny reaches out to help him but Jaehyun bats his hands away, immediately fumbling to pull his own pants down an inch or two. Johnny flushes in response. </p><p>“J-Jaehyun, what are you-” Jaehyun makes a noise of triumph as he turns his hip towards him.</p><p>Johnny freezes at what he sees. On Jaehyun’s hip, in the exact same position as his own, is a mark. </p><p>A soulmate mark. </p><p>A soulmate mark in the shape of the aquarius constellation, just like the one on Johnny’s own hip. </p><p>Johnny stares, eyes wide as he tries to process this new information. An incredulous laugh bubbles out of his chest because <i>of course</i>, of fucking course Jung Jaehyun is his soulmate. Jaehyun laughs too, throwing his head back in that way that always has Johnny melting. He strides across the room, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun’s narrow waist and pushing him down against the mattress. Jaehyun wraps his arms around his neck, pressing their foreheads together as he goes down. </p><p>“Soulmate.” Johnny murmurs, the word feeling as sacred as a prayer as it leaves his lips. </p><p>“Soulmate.” Jaehyun repeats, beaming at him so brightly it puts the sun to shame. Using the grip he has on Johnny he tugs him down into another kiss, this one tinged with an urgency that wasn’t there before. Johnny moans, kissing him back with equal intensity, their tongues meeting each other. He shifts, conscious that he’s leaning too much of his weight on Jaehyun’s body. As he does so, he’s made aware of the way that Jaehyun’s dick is quickly hardening in his borrowed sweats. This knowledge rapidly brings him back down to earth.</p><p>“Jaehyun-” Johnny pants, forcing himself to pull away. Jaehyun whines at the loss, immediately trying to follow in a way that has Johnny fighting back laughter. He holds Jaehyun’s face in his hands, gently rubbing a thumb over the other’s kiss-swollen lips as he speaks. </p><p>“We’ve been drinking.” </p><p>“I know.” Jaehyun’s voice is just shy of a whine as he squirms in Johnny’s hold, trying to get closer.</p><p>Johnny chuckles, appeasing him with a quick peck. “Is this okay?”</p><p>Jaehyun stills at the serious tone of his words, hands coming up to gently squeeze at Johnny’s wrists. “Of course it’s okay. I trust you, I’d trust you with anything.” </p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“You’re my soulmate, how could I not?”</p><p><i>Soulmate</i>. Johnny knows he’ll never get tired of hearing that, especially coming from Jaehyun’s mouth. </p><p>Satisfied, he nods, thumb still stroking against Jaehyun’s bottom lip. Jaehyun smirks, parting his lips so he can take Johnny’s thumb into his mouth. Johnny exhales sharply as Jaehyun sucks at the digit, the heat of his tongue tangible as he presses it against the pad. He lets him do as he pleases before he pulls his hand away, briefly replacing it with a kiss that’s more tongue than anything else.</p><p>Sliding his hands down to grab at Jaehyun’s waist, he uses his weight to pull the pair of them back so Jaehyun is straddling him, thick thighs caging his as he seats himself on Johnny’s lap. Jaehyun immediately uses their new arrangement to his advantage, sealing his lips over Johnny’s in a kiss that’s slow and simmering and has them both gasping desperately when they pull apart for air. </p><p>The room suddenly feels oppressively hot, sweat already trickling its way down Johnny’s neck. He reluctantly lets go of Jaehyun so he can pull his t-shirt off, tossing the offending item somewhere for him to deal with later. Jaehyun wastes no time in letting his hands roam over Johnny’s chest, fingers lightly trailing over the defined muscles of his abdomen and down to the hair that dusts his navel in a way that has Johnny’s cock rapidly hardening in his sweatpants. </p><p>“You too.” Johnny murmurs as he pulls Jaehyun’s shirt over his head, his curls bouncing as the material catches them. </p><p>Johnny leans back on his hands to get a better view, letting his eyes rake over the pale expanse of Jaehyun’s broad chest. He thinks back to that night at the bar which feels like forever ago, when he’d mentally compared Jaehyun to a marble statue. How right he’d been then - Jaehyun’s body is so perfect it almost doesn’t look real to him, an ache developing somewhere deep between his chest and stomach. </p><p>“You’re gorgeous.” He can’t bring himself to speak in anything louder than a whisper, almost afraid it’ll spoil the moment if he does. “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you.”</p><p>Jaehyun holds still, blush spreading its way from his cheeks down his chest as he preens under Johnny’s gaze. Johnny leans in, presses kisses over his neck and collarbone, occasionally stopping to suck a dark purple mark into the skin. Jaehyun begins panting as Johnny maps his way across his body, threading shaking fingers into Johnny’s hair so he can direct him to any spot he thinks needs urgent attention. He gasps loudly when Johnny’s lips brush against one of his nipples, a high pitched whining sound leaving his mouth when he starts to gently suck at the bud.</p><p>“J-Johnny-” He begs, trying to use his grip on Johnny’s hair to tug his head away. Johnny responds by moving his thumb to rub circles over his other nipple as he pulls his mouth away.</p><p>“Hmm? Sensitive are we?” He replies, expression one of pure innocence as he smiles at Jaehyun. </p><p>“Y-You’re mean.” </p><p>“Oh hush, you don’t mean that.” He presses a gentle kiss to the underside of his jaw, leaves another mark there just to see the way it stands out against the paleness of its surroundings. “Besides, I could be much meaner.”</p><p>Jaehyun huffs, dislodging Johnny from his task as he pulls away suddenly, a look of determination on his face. </p><p>“Get on your back.” He instructs, sliding off of Johnny’s lap. </p><p>“Huh?” The sudden lack of pressure on his dick has Johnny feeling light-headed and lost. Jaehyun laughs at the look on his face, patting his thigh in sympathy.</p><p>“I said get on your back.” He lightly pushes at Johnny’s shoulder, encouraging him to lie back. “I wanna suck you off.”</p><p>“Oh.” Comes Johnny’s rushed reply as he immediately scrambles into a comfortable position, back up against the pillows by his headboard. How could he refuse an offer like that?</p><p>Jaehyun waits patiently, a hand tracing patterns on the inside of one of Johnny’s thighs, making him shiver. One he’s satisfied with Johnny’s position he moves his hand to rub at Johnny’s clothed dick, an almost evil grin spreading across his face at the choked noise he gets in return. His breath is hot as he settles over Johnny’s crotch, pausing to lick a stripe over the tented material just to hear the way Johnny moans. The sound is addicting, making Jaehyun almost feel drunk with power, knowing he has the ability to cause Johnny to fall apart with the lightest touch of his tongue. </p><p>He reaches up to pull Johnny’s sweatpants down, pausing for a moment to trace a finger over the mark on his hip, the sight of it making him feel warm all the way down to his toes. Then he returns to his task, pulling Johnny’s pants down torturously slow, inch by inch until Johnny’s dick, already hard and flushed red, is freed. </p><p>“Fuck,” Is the word that immediately springs to his mind. “Johnny, fuck- You’re so big.”</p><p>Johnny laughs at Jaehyun’s reaction, a sound that is quickly cut off when Jaehyun takes his dick into his hand, spreading the precome already beading at the head down the shaft with a few expert flicks of his wrist. Johnny’s shaking hands falter as he tries to figure out what to do with them, settles for weaving one into Jaehyun’s hair while the other rests lightly on his shoulder. </p><p>Jaehyun looks up at him, giving him a dazzling smile before he leans down, taking nearly the entirety of Johnny’s dick into his mouth. Johnny gasps as the head of his dick hits the back of Jaehyun’s throat, his hips automatically stuttering into the warm. Jaehyun takes it easily, dragging his tongue back up the underside as he pulls off, pressing a kiss to the head as he regains his breath. </p><p>“You taste nice.” He winks cheekily at Johnny, who looks as though he’s seeing Jaehyun for the first time all over again. Jaehyun doesn’t wait for a reply as he sinks down onto his elbows, arching his back prettily for Johnny to admire while he works. </p><p>Jaehyun’s mouth is so hot and wet, it feels like Johnny is going to <i>die</i>. He uses the hand tangled in his hair to hold Jaehyun’s head in place every time he ducks down to swallow as much of Johnny’s dick as he can. Jaehyun brings one of his hands up to stroke at the bit of him that he can’t quite fit in his mouth, twisting his fingers in a way that has Johnny’s thighs trembling each time he does it.</p><p>He pulls all the way back, letting the head just rest on his tongue as he gently fondles Johnny’s balls. He’s almost painfully hard himself, hips stuttering every now and then in an attempt to get some friction from the mattress, but he holds off, knowing Johnny will take care of him later. </p><p>Johnny looks like he’s barely hanging on, cheeks flushed redder than Jaehyun’s ever seen them. Jaehyun thinks he looks beautiful like this, the noises coming out of his mouth lovely, quiet moans and startled gasps egging Jaehyun on in his quest.  </p><p>“Jae-” He gasps as Jaehyun finds the sensitive spot just under the head of his dick, having to stop his hips from bucking up wildly as he rubs his tongue against it. “Jaehyun, baby- fuck- you need to stop-” </p><p>Jaehyun pauses at the nickname, looking up at Johnny through those long lashes. Johnny takes a second to appreciate how <i>wrecked</i> he looks, spit and precome pooling at the corners of his mouth, threatening to spill down his chin. The sight is so hot Johnny almost comes right there and then. Instead he grits his teeth, using a discarded t-shirt to wipe the mess off of Jaehyun’s face (he’ll do laundry tomorrow, he swears). </p><p>“You need to stop.” He repeats, laughing shakily at the pout that appears on Jaehyun’s face. “I don’t wanna come yet.”</p><p>Jaehyun sighs, as if Johnny’s asked him to do something unpleasant. He concedes with a final kiss to the head of Johnny’s dick, licking the precome from the slit as he does so just to startle one last whimper out of Johnny’s mouth. </p><p>“Thank you.” Johnny makes sure his voice is earnest. He kicks his sweatpants off the rest of the way, rolling the pair of them onto their sides so they can both catch their breath. Jaehyun nudges himself closer - Johnny meets him halfway with a kiss that’s too gentle to have followed what they were just doing. </p><p>“How do you want this?” He asks softly, Jaehyun’s comfort the most important thing in the universe to him right now. </p><p>“On my back,” Jaehyun’s voice is equally as tender, eyes full of an emotion that Johnny can’t quite place but still makes him melt as Jaehyun looks up at him. “I want to be able to see you.”</p><p>“Of course.” Johnny carefully rearranges them, slipping a pillow underneath Jaehyun’s hips once he’s claimed Johnny’s previous spot near the headboard. </p><p>He retrieves his lube from the drawer next to his bed before he pulls Jaehyun’s pants off in one fluid motion, immediately stroking his neglected cock a few times. Jaehyun lets out a breathy moan the second he touches him, hips coming up to rut against Johnny’s hand as much as possible.</p><p>He pulls away before Jaehyun can get too carried away, briefly leaning up to kiss him when he lets out a distressed sound at the loss of contact. Grabbing the lube, he spreads some on his fingers, doing his best to warm it up somewhat before he uses his clean hand to spread Jaehyun’s legs apart. He doesn’t miss the way the younger man tenses at the touch, takes a second to rub soothing circles onto his soulmate mark until he feels him relax a bit more. </p><p>Johnny gently presses one finger to Jaehyun’s entrance, making sure his movements are slow and steady as he pushes his way in. Jaehyun immediately lets out the most beautiful breathy whine, eyes fluttering shut as Johnny gently pumps his finger in and out of him. Johnny watches his face carefully for any discomfort as he slowly works him open. He adds a second finger when he thinks Jaehyun can handle it, scissoring them together when he feels the muscles around his fingers loosening up. </p><p>“Faster.” Jaehyun orders breathlessly, trying to grind down on Johnny’s fingers as he thrusts them in and out of his body. Johnny frowns, swatting lightly at his hip. </p><p>“You’re an impatient brat,” He scolds him. “I almost miss the time when you were too shy to talk to me.” </p><p>Jaehyun opens his mouth, no doubt to deliver a snarky reply, but it’s cut off by a whimper when Johnny crooks his fingers suddenly, pressing firmly against his prostate. He rubs against it slowly, torturously, enjoying the way Jaehyun writhes beneath him. He’d looked beautiful before but now he looks otherworldly, hair fanned out over the pillow as tears gather on his lashes. Johnny leans down and kisses him, letting him moan into his mouth as he gradually adds a third finger. There’s little resistance from Jaehyun’s muscles but he wants to be sure, doesn’t want there to be even the slightest chance of hurting him. </p><p>“<i>Please</i>.” Jaehyun almost sobs, hands scrambling at Johnny’s back, nails leaving marks on his skin. </p><p>Johnny rubs at his prostate one last time before he sits back, pulling all three of his fingers out as quickly as he dares. </p><p>Jaehyun gasps at the empty feeling, squirming a little. “Finally.” He wheezes out.</p><p>Johnny simply smirks at him, holding Jaehyun’s legs further apart as he ducks down to swipe his tongue over his entrance. </p><p>Jaehyun <i>keens</i>, the sound loud in the otherwise silence of the apartment. Jaehyun looks mortified, immediately slapping his hands over his mouth as if that’ll do something to undo the noise he just made. </p><p>“Don’t,” Johnny urges, trying not to laugh as he tugs his hands away. “I’ve had to listen to them for years now, they can put up with this. Besides, Ten’s probably been passed out for hours, he won’t hear a thing.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s face is almost an alarming shade of red, his ears almost glowing in the near darkness of Johnny’s room. “That was mean, s-so mean!” He cries, shooting Johnny a glare that’s cancelled out by the way his lower lip wobbles. </p><p>Johnny presses a kiss to the inside of his thigh. “I’m so sorry baby.” He tongues over Jaehyun’s entrance again, lightly thrusting his tongue in and out a few times just to savour the way Jaehyun wails above him. He pulls back after a final lick, using the remaining lube on his fingers to slick himself up. Jaehyun watches his movements, gaze heavy-lidded as he tries to get his breathing back under control. </p><p>Johnny repositions himself, lining his dick up. He presses the head against Jaehyun’s entrance, watching the way Jaehyun’s eyes instinctively screw shut. He touches a hand to his cheek, stroking the soft skin.</p><p>“Look at me.” He commands quietly. </p><p>Jaehyun immediately blinks his eyes open again, gaze unfocused as he looks up at Johnny. Johnny smiles reassuringly at him, holds his breath as he begins gently pushing in. The noise Jaehyun makes almost threatens to undo him there and then, the breathy moan that escapes his mouth going straight to Johnny’s dick. </p><p>Johnny feels as though his entire body is on fire - this isn’t the first time he’s been in bed with someone but nothing has ever felt like this, nothing could ever come close to feeling the way his body does right now, nestled in the heat of Jaehyun’s body. It feels as though they were meant to fit together like this, made perfectly to fit each other. Like it was destiny that they would end up together.</p><p>Jaehyun makes a soft hiccuping noise, brows knitted tightly together as he gets used to the feeling of Johnny being inside him. Johnny holds his weight up with one arm, using his free hand to card through Jaehyun’s hair, whispering sweetly into his ear. Jaehyun reaches out blindly, pulling him down a little so he can bury his face safely into the crook of his neck, breath shaky and hot against Johnny’s skin. Johnny waits patiently for him, holding himself deathly still. </p><p>It feels like lifetimes pass before Jaehyun is nodding underneath him, kissing at Johnny’s pulse point in encouragement. Johnny is still cautious in the way that he pulls halfway out, thrusting back in at the same careful speed. Jaehyun’s mouth is open but no sound comes out, nothing but air leaving his lungs as Johnny fucks into him with a gentle rhythm. He wraps his arms around the older man’s neck, pulling him down so their lips can meet. Johnny kisses him back feverishly, feeling like he’ll explode if any part of his body isn’t touching Jaehyun.</p><p>At one point Johnny reangles his hips, snapping them up in a way that startles a loud moan out of Jaehyun’s mouth. Johnny pauses, grinding down and getting another strained moan in return for his effort. He smirks, clearly having found the perfect angle to drive Jaehyun crazy, and begins thrusting into him again. This time he builds up speed quickly, snapping his hips in a fast rhythm while Jaehyun falls apart beneath him. He moves one hand to cup Jaehyun’s face, thumbing at his cheekbone to swipe away the tears of pleasure that are steadily falling from his eyes. One particular thrust has Jaehyun gasping, back arching off of the bed as he digs his nails into Johnny’s neck. Johnny’s hips stutter, gasping himself at the way Jaehyun suddenly tightens around his dick. </p><p>Johnny’s careful rhythm is gone but he doesn’t really care, hips snapping faster and faster as he feels the telltale signs that his orgasm is close take over his body. Jaehyun is past the point of no return now, Johnny’s name mixed in with the moans and gasps that are falling from his mouth like a mantra. Johnny leans down to press their foreheads together, a hand slipping between their bodies to thumb at the slit of Jaehyun’s dick, dragging his hand down to his balls slowly. Jaehyun’s eyes are wild and unfocused when they meet his, crying out Johnny’s name as he clenches hard around him, come spilling over his stomach and Johnny’s hand as he finds his release. Johnny grits his teeth, fucking him through his orgasm as he chases his own. Jaehyun hiccups again, overstimulated as he digs his fingers into Johnny’s shoulders.</p><p>When Johnny’s orgasm hits him it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before. His vision whites out for a hot second before all he sees is stars, like he’s floating somewhere above earth. He’s not sure how long it is before he’s brought back to reality by the sensation of someone stroking his face. Jaehyun is gazing up at him like he hung the moon, a tired smile playing on his lips, dimples soft where they’ve appeared on his cheeks. Johnny grins wearily back at him, kissing him on both cheeks softly before he pulls out. </p><p>“Ngh.” Is the sound that Jaehyun lets out at the sensation. Johnny laughs apologetically, patting his ass. </p><p>“Sorry, should’ve warned you there.” He forces himself to sit up, ignoring the way his muscles protest at the movement. </p><p>Tugging some boxers on, he slips out of the room to grab something he can use to clean himself and Jaehyun up. Jaehyun looks dead to the world when he returns, damp cloth in hand, but he whines as Johnny starts gently rubbing at his oversensitive skin. Johnny laughs but relents, sliding the towel under Jaehyun before he sheds his boxers, crawls back into bed and pulls the covers over them. Jaehyun immediately shuffles closer, wriggling so his head is tucked firmly under Johnny’s chin. Johnny wraps his arms around him, dropping a kiss onto the top of his head while he strokes his hip.</p><p>Johnny is suddenly reminded of what Doyoung had said all those months ago in the diner, the victorious way he had looked at Johnny when he’d told him what his soulmate mark was. It all made sense now.</p><p>“I’m either going to kill or kiss Doyoung the next time I see him.” His voice is muffled by the way his face is pressed against Jaehyun’s hair, the peach-coloured strands tickling his nose.</p><p>“Can you not ruin our post-coital glow by talking about my roommate?” Jaehyun groans in reply, exhaustion making him slur the words. Johnny squeezes his hip.</p><p>“Sorry.” He snorts, pulling back so he can kiss Jaehyun once more before he lets sleep take him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> /// </p>
</div>Johnny awakens slowly the next morning, tiredness still settled over his limbs, heavy like an extra blanket. It’s light enough in his room to suggest that it’s late in the morning, the glow of the sun bright behind his curtains.<p>Jaehyun is fully curled up on his chest, his steady breathing warming his neck. Johnny’s heart feels impossibly full at the sight of him, the sheer amount of affection he has for the man in his arms almost making him feel dizzy. He finds himself unable to fall back asleep despite his exhaustion, instead settles for tracing patterns over the soft skin of Jaehyun’s back while he waits. </p><p>He’s not sure how much time passes before Jaehyun suddenly stirs, lifting his head a little to blink sleepily as he looks around the room. </p><p>“Good morning,” Johnny murmurs, brushing Jaehyun’s overly long fringe out of his eyes for him. “How you feeling?”</p><p>“Morning.” Jaehyun mumbles sleepily, burrowing even further into his side with a quiet snuffling noise. He reaches out blindly, feeling about the bed until he finds Johnny’s other hand so he can lace their fingers together with a happy sigh. </p><p>“I’m sore but I’ll manage.” He presses a kiss to Johnny’s chest. “This more than makes up for it anyway.”  </p><p>Johnny tilts his chin up so they can properly kiss - slow and loving compared to the heat of last night. They lie cuddled up together for however long, the room silent except for their quiet breathing. </p><p>Jaehyun’s stomach grumbles loudly, shattering the peaceful atmosphere. Johnny chuckles, laughing even more at the grumpy betrayal of the look that Jaehyun shoots him. He ushers him off to the bathroom with a promise that they’ll get something to eat once he’s ready.</p><p>Johnny checks his phone from where he abandoned it on his desk while he waits. There’s a couple of texts waiting for him. There’s a series from Ten timestamped to the early hours of that morning, the last one just being N A S T Y and a ton of vomiting emojis. Johnny laughs, simply replies that one with a heart. The latest one is from Doyoung, inviting him and Jaehyun to brunch if they’re done ‘traumatising the neighbourhood’. </p><p>“Babe?” He calls as Jaehyun returns, not missing the way the other man preens at the nickname. “You wanna go for brunch with Doyoung and Tae?”</p><p>“Sure.” Jaehyun shrugs. “Doyoung’s gonna gloat about this no matter what, so might as well get it over with. Plus there’ll be food.” Johnny nods, sending off a quick reply before moving to go get ready himself. </p><p>When Johnny emerges from the bathroom he sees Jaehyun rifling through his dresser, clearly on the hunt for something in particular. He makes a triumphant little noise as he pulls Johnny’s old volleyball jersey out once again. Johnny raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Really,” Jaehyun replies, pulling the green fabric over his head. “I picked it on purpose last time, liked the idea of you seeing your name on my back.”</p><p>“And now you want everyone at brunch to see it?” Johnny smirks.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I want everyone to know I’m yours?”</p><p>Johnny can’t argue with that - he would very much like everyone to know that Jaehyun is his, after all. So he doesn’t, instead just leaning in to kiss Jaehyun once again, hand fitting perfectly over the mark on his hip like it was always destined to be there. </p><p>He supposes it was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading if you made it this far! kudos, comments and bookmarks would be GREATLY appreciated if you enjoyed reading. </p><p>my twitter is <a href="https://twitter.com/suhnbeams">@suhnbeams</a> if anyone would like to chat about this or nct or anything in general! thank you once again for reading ❤</p></blockquote></div></div>
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